Fall Mantle - DIY...kind of

I've never been one to decorate for Fall.  I always thought it was weird to decorate for a season commemorated by falling leaves and colder temperatures.  I'm a Halloween girl.  It's my second favorite holiday behind Christmas.

Sunday after Marlow's 206th night in a row of waking at 5:00 am, I needed to get out of the house for a bit by myself.  I just needed to breath and let's be honest I'm not sure there is anything better than a little retail therapy.  These moments make the Hubs a little nervous because 9 times out of 10 that means a SOLO TRIP TO TARGET.

I was in the mood to decorate, so after looking through Pinterest for some Fall, not boring leaves type decor, inspiration, I headed to my favorite place for all fun decorating things - Gordmans.  Not sure if you have one in your city, but they have the most amazing things and for the major cheap.  I bought a wreath (I typically would just make it myself, but for $20 it was worth just buying it already made and it wasn't too "leafy" for me), 4 picture frames, one candle, a candlestick and a pumpkin (the green vase is a part of my non-holiday/seasonal mantle).  Ran to Michaels for some scrapbook paper and a few letters and voila, my Fall mantle...

It makes me feel all warm and cozy, especially with my Baked Apple Pie + Cider Mill combo in my Scentsy burner.

Now I'm just going to need the 85 degree days to come down to about 75.  I shouldn't have to use the AC in late September.

This will tide me over for a few weeks and then I'll get my Halloween on...bought a new rug for that yesterday...at Target...when I was supposed to just be stopping for baby food and wine because it is impossible for me to go into Target and only get what I went in for...there's some super major power force in that place..I lose all sense of shopping control and focus.

Happy Friday people!!!!

We Were Done and Then We Weren't and Then...

When we met we had both just gotten out of long relationships.

When we met we weren't looking for anything permanent.

When we met, at a bar (ahem), we weren't looking for anything more than conversation and a little fun.

When we met, we didn't realize that our first date would lead to so much more.

When we dated, we didn't realize that two years later we would be engaged.

When we got married, we didn't realize we would have children.  Someone was content with being a kidless bachelor for the rest of his life (again, ahem)

When we had one child, we weren't sure we would have another.

And then we did.

And she's amazing and the perfect addition to our family.

We felt content.  We felt whole.

Four is a nice round number.  One kid per parent.  Perfect.

And then the summer came and went (I know technically it's not over, but when the pools close it is to me) and I turned 35 and yesterday my baby started preschool.

And then we started talking.  A conversation that was started by my Husband who as you may recall thought he would be a kidless bachelor the rest of his life.

Maybe one more?

We have goals for ourselves and our family outside of our work.  We want to travel, explore, see new things and do some things for ourselves.  Bask in the glory of life instead of working our life away.

Another child could hinder those goals.  Because kids are expensive and day care is expensive and selfishly, we want to create a life for our two children we have now that will create memories forever.  When you have two full time working parents, one of which works six days a week, family together time is extremely limited. Each and every week of each and every month of each and every year.

Mia asked me Saturday why her Daddy had to work so much.  It's hard to explain to a 3 year old that Daddy runs his own business and therefore is on "duty" all the time.  I told my Husband.  I didn't want to but I knew I needed to.

All of these thoughts and emotions sparked a conversation for beyond two hours last night.

And as selfishly as it may seem, and as wonderful as it would be to bring another blessing into our family, we determined it's time to focus on some of the things we've been striving for in the past ten years of our relationship.

Let's do some things for us.  Let's focus more on our family and spending time together.

Because damn it, we work really hard and deserve to spoil ourselves.

There should be no shame or selfishness in that.

This Place

Today was a very big day for a certain little girl in our family.

I wasn't sad.  I didn't cry.  But I did feel a strange sense in the pit of my stomach last night and this morning as I thought about how we got to this place.

Just shy of four years ago, she made me a Mom and here we are today dropping her off for her first day of Pre-K.

There are moments where I just yearn for some quiet, some alone time, 5 minutes to go pee by myself, maybe a solo trip to Target.

But today I realized, once again, just how very lucky I (we) am (are).



Mia is amazing.  She's smart, social, happy, healthy and FULL of energy.  And her memory....it's outstanding and scary all at the same time.  She remembers so many experiences already.  If there was a way to bottle it up and sell it I would.



This morning my thoughts were on how quickly she's grown into a little girl, how my baby is no longer a baby, how amazed I was that she found her own name tag upon entering her classroom.

I can't believe I have a pre-schooler.  I'm pretty sure someone told me that they stay babies forever. Liars.

I'm so excited to hear all of her stories tonight when I pick her up.

I'm so excited to watch her grow and develop.  The girl could not have been more excited to put that princess backpack on and strut into school this morning and for that I'm elated for her.  I'm impressed by her ability to walk into a new and strange environment and settle right in.

But that pit, that pit is there.  That pit that tells me she's growing up and there is not a darn thing I can do about it.

Kids teach us so much about love, patience and life.  Watching them explore all things for the first time is such a remarkable process to experience.

Life, I tell you, is one interesting journey of emotions after another.

Ok life.  You win.