Being Present

Like most everyone else, a new year brings new goals and new resolutions, a list(s) of things that I would like to accomplish and complete.

Every year I do it.  Most years I don't complete near what I was hoping or wishing for.

Last year was the fastest year of my life.

I truly, really truly, feel like I blinked and it was over.

I barely remember Marlow as a baby.  I've completely sucked at documenting much of anything.  I feel like a horrible mother because of it, but I know that "stuff" doesn't matter.

I barely remember what we did over the summer.

I barely remember anything outside of our routine...work, school, pick up children, drop off children, cook, clean, laundry, dance/gymnastics, repeat.

And that is really sad.  Breaks my heart when I really think about it.

I'm losing my sense of presence.  My sense of presence for my family, but more importantly for myself.

"They" say, each year goes faster than the last and "they" were NOT kidding.

I literally feel like I blinked and I have a 10 month old "baby."  Whothewha?

So this year, if I accomplish anything it is that I will be present.  I will be better at doing things, outside of the monotonous schedule.  I will go for long walks, I will play in the rain, do things on a whim, not freak out if the bathrooms aren't clean and the playroom isn't picked up.  I will rest when my children rest.  That shouldn't just apply when they are newborns.  I will schedule dates with my husband, I will schedule time for myself, I will schedule fun things to do with my children.

I had lunch with a tenant of mine last Friday.  She's a female and a VP in her company and I respect her very much.  She was very complimentary of me in my job in real estate, but also of me in my job as a mother. I've been thinking a lot about our conversation this weekend.  I can be better in my job as a mother.  My life is a circus, but you know what?  Eventually that circus will be filled with an quiet, empty house and two girls going out into the world spreading their wings and not having as much time for Mom.  They will eventually not run to me first thing and squeeze me so tight each and every morning.

Life is so quick, but it doesn't mean that it can't be just a bit more meaningful.

So I will do my best to make it just that.

Brudders and Stuff

Mia's has officially become obsessed with her baby sister.

"I love our baby."

"I love my sister."

"She's sooooo cute Mom."

Cup runneth over like whoa.

Her new thing, however, is that she feels that because we have given her a sister, she would also now like a brother, actually a brudder to be exact.

It's cute, yes.

But first of all, I'm one of three girls, my sister has two girls and my sister in law has two girls.  The whole weenie thing doesn't seem to happen in my family.

Annnnnndddddddd....we've been officially official on the two kids and done thing for a while now.

They're awesome and sweet, but they don't sleep very late and I haven't slept in years and I'm tired and kids are expensive and our routine is nuts as it is.

So as much as I would like to give Mia another gift of a sibling, she'll just have to hang on for her next cousin.

Happy Turkey Week!

So What Wednesday!

It's been a while, but linking up with Shannon this week.

This week I'm saying SO WHAT if:

• I'm overwhelmed with all the holiday bargains, but my kids don't need any more toys and Mia just had a birthday and I don't know what to get them for Christmas and waaaahhhh...not real problems.
• There are nights where if it weren't for my glass of wine  I'd go completely bat shit crazy.  Honesty folks.
• Once cold weather strikes I'm never on time for work, but I'm here so let's do this...
• I went crazy at Old Navy over the weekend (who can help it when the entire store was 30% off) and put Marlow in one of her new outfits that was almost too tight to get on.  At 6-12 months.  Not ok.
• I can't decide where to buy my fall boots.  I've been looking and searching and I just don't know what I want and I refuse to pay more than $40.  I do this every year and by the time I decide there is nothing left in my massive foot size.
• I bought more Scentsy bars last week.  I don't need them, but I'm a sucker for a school fundraiser and holiday smells...Christmas Cottage anyone...on my second bar of that goodness.
• I'm still way hormonal...I would think by now that post-partum business would have passed, but I've cried about three times in the past week...on Mia's birthday, yesterday when I realized Marlow is 8 months old and she's our last baby and it makes me sad and I don't want to get rid of the baby things (is it ok if I just keep the lamby swing in my house forever) and she's growing too fast and then I cried last night while watching Michael J. Fox on Letterman.  I watched my Grandpa struggle through his battle with Parkinson's that eventually took his life several years ago and it made me happy and sad for Michael's gracious spirit and all that he is doing for research.
• I will admit each and every day that children are exhausting.  They are lovely and I wouldn't change them for the world, but they are exhausting. One night last week, after we got through our bed routine with Mia, she started crying.  I asked her why she was sad, she said she didn't want to get bigger, she wanted to stay little forever.  Que broken Mom heart and more tears...

Happy Hump Day!

Eight Months of Pure Goodness

Marlow Lacy, you are an amazing girl.

Your smile, personality and most importantly those cheekies light up every room.

You're a perfect addition to our little family and we are so thankful for you each and every day.

Today you are 8 months old.

I cannot believe how quickly these past 8 months have gone.

The past month has been a month of changes for you:

• You're crawling
• You're pulling up on things
• You need your Momma 0.234 seconds after I've walked in the door
• You stare at your sissy ALL.THE.TIME.
• You want to cuddle and wrestle with the dogs, not sure they're the biggest fans of that idea
• You've stood, without holding onto anything, for seconds at a time multiple times.  You, my love, may be an early walker.

You sleep 11-12 hours a night and you appear to be taking after your Momma in the sleep department - early to bed, early to rise.  Sorry sister.  You take two great naps almost each and every day.

You're starting to give hugs.  Each and every time I get you out of your crib or pick you up, I feel you grab a little tighter each time.  When you rest your head on my shoulder or fall asleep in my lap I melt into a million mushy pieces of motherly love.

You're eating like a champ.  You love your food, especially spaghetti squash, your puffs and your sippys of water.  All big girl type things.

You continue your obsession with remote controls, the fireplace and pulling all of the DVDs out of the TV cabinet.

You are certainly on the go and ready to move.

Happy 8 months Itty Bitty.

We love you so much!

Guess I should start planning your first birthday, huh?

With Love, Always & Forever,
Momma

Bronde is the New Blonde

So as per usual, it's fall and therefore time to go a bit darker with the hair color so I'm not in the salon every 4 weeks and my Hubs doesn't take away my wallet.

He's not a fan of the darker hair, which he pointed out last night.  But I really like it for this time of year.  I will be back to my blonde self next spring, no worries Husband.  Saw a ton on "bronde" while perusing Pinterest for hair color inspiration.  I'm loving it!

I'm not that wife that doesn't cut or color her hair because her Husband doesn't want a different hair color or shorter hair.  My hair, my deal.  It's kind of all I have left that is 100% mine at this point.

Before

After

Day After

Early morning robe shot, bags included, you're welcome.

Video 

Sidenote: as much as I "see" all of you through your FB, IG and blog feeds, 

it's always interesting to actually hear your voices; also this is super corny,
but that is me 90% of the time and Mia is just like me in the
goofy department...reason #413 that Hubs thinks he needs a man cave....
"I need a space to get away from 3 girls."  Whatevs.  Funsucker.

What my stylist really wants me to do, which I love for long hair, but not sure I want to go much darker.

She's beautiful and I'm quite the fan of the tossled look - it's way easy.

Happy Hump Day my friends!

4

Mia Jane,

Today you turn 4.  I cannot believe it.  4 years ago this morning, at exactly 1:57 am, your Daddy and I welcomed you into this world for the first time.

You have been nothing short of amazing since that very moment and you have taught us so much about patience and understanding.  You've shown us the world through your eyes and that is one of the greatest gifts.

You are spunky, sassy, witty, goofy and oh so very smart.  You are an amazing big sister and you often tell us just how much you love her as you cover her in your hugs and kisses.

And your heart...it is as big as the ocean.  You care deeply for those around you and hate to see people sad or upset.  Your I love yous and those wonderful hugs you give are the best!  Your smile is contagious and your silly sense of humor is something I hope you keep around forever.

You're growing up too fast.  You're no longer my baby, but now my little girl.  You have changed so much in the past few months.  I'm not sure if it's because you are not in preschool or if it is just because you are getting older, but I want you to know something.  I will never stop telling you this...

Never Stop Being YOU.

You are wonderful, beautiful and perfectly sassy just the way that you are.

We can't wait to see where this world takes you, but I have a feeling you will go far...

I'm so proud to be your Momma Mia Jane.  I hope you don't ever question that.  I hope you know just how much you are loved each and every day.

And even though you are a little girl now, you will always be my baby.

I hope #4 is the best year yet.

With Love, Always & Forever,
Mommy

Fall Funk, Say What

Is it the weather or what is my deal lately?

I'm in a funk with work and everything in between.

Is it a 35 thing?

Is this normal?

I need to join a gym.

I need to be better about doing something for ME.

I feel like I'm losing a little bit of me each day as I'm taking care of everyone else.

I need a vacation.

I need to sleep past 5:30 am.

Sunday morning and the sun was not even up yet.

It may be the looming change in the time of the sunset and the sunrise.  Leaving at dark and getting home at dark puts a damper on the energy, motivation and happiness levels.

It's a new month, so that's helpful.

I feel like the constant go, go, go of the everyday is aging me quickly.

Days and weeks and months keep getting shorter.

Marlow is already 6 months old.  I mean how did that happen?

I'm exhausted most days and haven't been the greatest mom and wife in the evenings.

I feel like I'm pulled in 8,000 different directions from 5:30 am - 8:30 pm most days.

That, my friends, is exhausting day in and day out.

Being a Mom is hard work.

I've had a massage gift certificate since my birthday in June and I still haven't taken the time to go.  It's one hour.

We've made it a point to be better about weekend/family time and that makes me happy and always gives me something to look forward to.

Hubs has been better about working shorter Saturdays or taking off altogether if he can, so we actually feel like we have a weekend instead of one day.

Just feeling a bit like our balance is off or maybe it's just my balance throwing everything off?

It's up to ME to change it because Moms can fix everything, right?