The Countdown

Friday marks the start of the last full month of this pregnancy and I'm just overly amazed at how quickly this time has gone.

I'm trying to soak up my Mia time as best as I can.  I'm overwhelmed with emotion when I think about the fact that she is our only for just a short while longer.  It does make me sad, as she is my everything.  I struggle, as many parents do, with how I will ever be able to imagine love any greater than what we have for Mia.  How is that humanly possible?  I know that it is.  I don't question it.  We're just not there yet, so until I experience it I will struggle with that.

My daughter's heart is growing by the day and I do feel strongly that it's all in preparation for her sister to arrive.  She's making more room in her already amazingly sweet heart for her little sister.  She loves spending time in her room and indeed helped Daddy put up the crib yesterday.  She wants to do all things and help with all things related to her sister's upcoming arrival.

Even more so, she is always helping me.  Last night, I lied in bed watching the SAG's while she and Hubs put up the crib.  She came and checked on me often to make sure I was "ok."  She tucked me in 100 times, she gave me 403 kisses and told me she loved me more than I could ever count.  Does it get any better than that?  She's listening, helping out with chores, doing all the things we've been trying.  We even managed to give up the binky this weekend.

We're in such a good place, our little family.  It's a great feeling, especially leading into the arrival of our newest family member.

My heart is full and that's a really good thing.

I needed to feel like this.  I needed this past weekend to get to a place where I felt content and ready.

I wasn't there two weeks ago, but I'm there today.

We have a little less than 7 weeks to go until Baby W #2's arrival.

We're excited to meet her and we're excited for our next chapter.

Have a great week!

Deep Thoughts by Melissa

What is the Simple Life?

How do we define it?  Do we even know that it exists.

I'm often exhausted from the world that we live in and the country that we reside in.  The expectations that our country upholds for the working hours are insane.  We live in a world were technology doesn't allow many of us to be disconnected enough to get an evening break at home with our children and families, because we are just one email, one call or one text away from a colleague, a client, a boss.

Where it is convenient at times it's just another piece to add to the stress equation.  Everyone deserves a break.

Almost daily my cell phone starts ringing 15 minutes after I leave the office.  Why?  Because people know I'm driving home and they know they can catch me at that time.  Oh, you're driving good.  While I have you...  Ummmm.....I'm driving.  Safety first people.  Bluetooth or not.

It depends on who is calling, but I've stopped answering as much.  Why?  Because I'm not obligated to answer those calls after hours. I should because I'm technically on call 24-7-365 because of my position.  I answer them because I'm passionate about my job.  I care about what I've been hired to do.  It's important to me that I do my job the best that I possible can. I'm also in a supervisory role and I train future managers and it's important to ME that I'm a good model of behavior to them.  This is how I was raised and this is what I believe strongly. BUT. This job only defines a small piece of who I am.

I'm also a Mom and a Wife.  A Sister, a Daughter and an Aunt.  When I get home from my day job, I go into my night "job."  I need time away from work, but most importantly I need time with my family who i miss desperately through (most of) the days.  I need that time with them and time away from what I spend so much of my life doing.  And that is working.

Does it provide amazing things for my family? Yes.  Do I regret some days that I've chosen a path to be a working Mom.  I'd be lying if I didn't question it sometimes.  But this is me.  This is the path I have chosen.

One of my favorite shows is House Hunters International.  Since the Hubs and I have been together we've always talked about packing up, consolidating our life and moving somewhere much more simple.

Yesterday, they showcased two families that relocated to Antigua and Grenada.  AAAAAAAAAAmazing.

It would be hard to make that plunge, mostly because of the relationship I have with my family, but this is our one life.  Our one life to live.  We're over the monotony, the stress, the constant working, the lack of family time.  Is this what I want my kids to know?  Yes and No.  There are benefits to the freedoms that we have, but our country focuses entirely too much on work and not enough on family.  If we want to change that it's is up to my Husband and me.  There is a great big world out there and a lot of it has beaches and oceans.  We'll get there.  I strongly believe that we will.  We'll get that chance.  I just need a sign letting me know that it's a good decision for us to make.

Does Everything Happen For A Reason?

I told myself that I wouldn't do this, but for whatever reason I'm been thinking more and more about it every day.

If you've been following along for a while, you'll know that the relationship that I have with my MIL is not the "greatest."

She showed her true colors right after we bought our current home and shit really hit the fan around Mia's first birthday and since then I've made the decision to just keep her out of my life.

The Hubs still sees her and Mia does on occasion, but I have not seen her for 8+ months.

Just recently the Hubs and I have been talking about the lack of relationship that we have with his side of the family and that it has been weighing on both of us.

My Hubs is a pretty stressed out person.  Running his own small business is a constant 24/7 operation and requires a lot of time, energy and detail.  Throw in me, Mia, yard work and life, the man goes all day, every day, almost 6 days a week most weeks out of the year.  He really doesn't need anything else to add to his level of anxiety and I know the situation with his mother does NOT help.

We do a ton with my family and see them on the regular.  His family, not so much.  Everything with them has to be an event and nothing could just be on a whim.  Whim is fun sometimes!

I had a long talk with my Mom last week when she and I took Mia to CFA for dinner before her swimming lessons.  My Mom and her MIL (my Dad's Mom, my Grandma) weren't real "tight" either so I knew she would be a good one to ask and talk through this with.  I had explained to her that I'm just at a place where I need to move forward, move past my feelings and try to make things better.  She encouraged me to do that.

I haven't seen my SIL, BIL, my nieces or my MIL or FIL in a long time...

and then came Sunday.

Hubs and I decided that nothing says Happy Sunday like a pretty awesome salad from Olive Garden.  I don't know what it is about that salad, but it's deelish.  We aren't chain restaurant eaters (ok except CFA and Red Robin), but every couple of years we crave their salad and breadsticks.  Weird.  So off we went, as Mia and I were returning from our second trip to the bano since arriving, guess who was walking in to eat.  You guessed it - my MIL and FIL.  Anyway, my MIL giggled her uncomfortable I don't know what else to do giggle to get through our brief conversation.  It was awkward, but I started to think that there are higher somethings pushing us together to try to heal this relationship and make this family better and more united.  Maybe? Maybe not?  But shit like that doesn't just happen.

I'm one of those that believes strongly in the fact that everything happens for a reason and this is proof of why I do.

This Sunday the Hubs parents are having a BBQ and we're invited.  Initially, as usual, I was just going to stay home, but I have decided to go.

Sunday I plan to say something to my MIL because as much as she thinks time heals all wounds and that there is no reason to discuss the past, some of the things she said and did are not things I can just "brush off."

So I'm going to keep it light and keep it quick, but I want her to know that I'm ready to move on and start anew.

After all, there are kids involved and at the end of the day I don't want to have any regrets so I will try to heal our relationship.  I will try to be the bigger person.

Only time will tell.

Happy Monday!

These Are A Few Of My Favorite Things

Time with my girl.

Time with my other girl.

Time outside with new shades and guitar bubbles from VBS.

Heading to the grocery in purple socks and red sparkly shoes.

Wearing Momma's shades because if I say no she will quickly remind me that we share in this house.

A whole bag of Haribo gummies all to myself.

Swimming lessons with Mia's BFF.

A man and his dog (why so fuzzy, no bueno).
It was just these two before Momma moved in (in sin, gasp).

Time to myself on a Sunday, curled up with a blanket, my Haribos and  the Real Housewives during naptime.

Seeing old pictures and reminiscing.
This is Mia and Kaelyn at their first swimming lessons together two summers ago.

Have a good weekend! I'm off tomorrow and will be busy playing at the zoo with Lindsey and Gina and their adorable boys!  Mia and the boys, should make for some great Instagraming tomorrow (melissaw13).

Refueled....done and done.

This weekend rocked my socks off.

The weather was perfect, amazing and had SUMMER written all over it.

So much time with good friends and most importantly, the Hubs and Mia!

No care in the world, no time schedule, just perfect weather, sun, water, relaxation (and mucho margaritas)!

These kind of weekends are important.

Refueling is so necessary.

And I needed to be refueled pretty badly.

I knew she'd love the water, but she may have loved the boat even more.

Good friends, the Husband and boat naps.  Doesn't get much better!

Naps, naps and more naps.

And an early birthday present to myself
because who doesn't deserve to buy themselves a little something.
I'm borderline Fossil obsessed.

What a perfect weekend!  So rejuvenating and exactly what all of us needed!

And can we get a big YAY!!! for another short work week and another 3-day weekend this weekend!

Someone's about to rock 34 like nobody's business!

Have a great week!

It's On The Brain

The Hubs and I have been going back and forth for about a year on whether we will or we won't.

Realizing we're not getting any younger and we don't want to be attending our kid's graduations with our walkers, we've picked up the pace on the convo as of late.

We've done the pros and cons and have had many, often heavy, conversations about how this change will affect our Mia.  If you haven't picked up on it, she's the absolute love of our life and perfect and wonderful and sassy and adorable.  We've agreed life would be great with just one, no matter what everyone else says.  "She'll be weird if she's an only child."  "You can't have just one."  "You have to have at least one more."  Sadly, the majority of comments, whether asked for or not, were pretty negative.  Not very many people were like, "you do what you need to do that makes sense for your family."  My Mom is an exception and always had been.  She even made mention to me about starting to sell my baby stuff.  Slooooow down Mother, another kid or not, the lamby swing may stay in my house forever.

I never thought I would be a mother of an only child.  Especially growing up with my sisters.  I always envisioned at least 2 kids.

But then life happened and expenses happened and schedules happened.  And Mia, she's just plain awesome.

And our routine right now is like clock work.  Where it can be crazy and chaotic, 95.78% of the time we feel like we have "it" figured out.  What will it be like with another squishy, up every few hours, newborn? 2 kids, 2 full time working parents, lots of schedules is scary.  Plenty of people do it.  I realize this, but that doesn't mean it doesn't cause a small panic in my routine, schedule, calendar loving heart.

I've always leaned more towards another and the Hubs has always been less of an advocate for it, until...

He visited with a client, who happened to be a woman, who happened to be holding a newborn baby boy and that baby boy smiled at him.

And that my friends changed my Hubs mind and we are now officially in agreement that we will try one more time.

Last go around took us a while, but we didn't really know what we were doing.  Charting temps and whatnot.  Are you kidding me?  At the time we began trying for Mia, I had spent 29 years trying NOT to get pregnant and when I was ready, it took 8 months.  I know the road has been much worse for many and believe me, I count my blessings everyday.

Anyway, hopefully things go well and we're able to add another member to our family.

Because these moments are some of the best

And if not, things will be just fine the way that they are.

Only time will tell, but my cutoff is 35 and I'm a month away from turning 34, soooo...

As the Hubs said this weekend, she needs a playmate (and a swingset).  Someone is getting a little sappy in his old (ahem) age.

Time

Where does it go?

It's so hard to ever believe what my life was like before she came along.

Seriously, I die.

And now...

She's going through the Toys R Us catalog telling me what she wants and pointing out what she already has (which is supposedly anything that has Dora, Sponge Bob or any other character she recognizes).

I just love this kid.

Have a wonderful weekend!

What Message Are You Sending?

This time of year is not always so Christmas-y due to some "family issues," but I try to keep strong and stay tough for my family.  But some days are harder than others and continuing to see the look on my hubs face when we try to discuss it just breaks my heart.  Each and every single year.

However, I will stay strong and Christmas-y for Mia's sake because she's a child, our child and that is what she deserves.  No matter how others (ahem....adults) behave, this is about her and the other kids in our family.  I want to make each Christmas magical not just with material things and a bazillion presents, but with time and traditions.

This is my FAVORITE time of year.  FAV.O.RITE!!!  I will not let childish and selfish behavior change my feelings about this holiday nor will I lie down and let my husband continue to feel disappointment and embarrassment because of these issues.  It's not his fault, but he blames himself.a.lot. And that my friends is a hard battle to watch.

It saddens me.  Every year we go through this.  Every year we talk about this.  Every year nothing changes and often it gets worse.  Here we are just about a week away and the emotions are running pretty high.

As a parent, this has taught me many things, but most importantly it has taught me that I will do anything to make sure that my daughter knows that I/we love her.  She will always feel safe, welcome and loved in our home.  She will be raised with a full and open heart.  She will know that her parents will do whatever they can to make sure that she knows that she is something and someone very, very special.

I just wish all parents would send the same message.

Happy Birthday!

Tomorrow is the big day!  My Hubs turns the BIG 4-0!  I'll be the first one to confirm that he is not thrilled about this "milestone."  He's never been a fan of birthdays because he just says he's another year older.  I'm working on that.  Birthdays are a time to celebrate not put yourself into a depression.

40 is a big year though.  Think about it.  30 was a big deal for me, but 40 will feel different.  I can agree with him there.

We celebrated big this year! Headed to Vegas and slept, drank and played like we were 22.  Tomorrow we will celebrate some more, go out to dinner and we'll give him his gift, created by the hands of his daughter.

To my Hubs,

To me age is just a number.  To you it's another year of getting older.
To me it's another year that I've grown to love you even more.
To me it's another year of watching you become an amazing Daddy.
To me it's another year to spend together as a couple.
To me it's another year to spend together as a family.
To me it's another year of memories.
To me it's another year of having you in my life.
And to me...I'm happy to celebrate you and us and the family we have created.

After all this is what life is all about!

Wordless (Not Really) Wednesday - A Family Of Red

We were blessed to have the opportunity to attend the Cardinals Playoff Game last Friday night.  Besides the fact that Mia peed on my leg with one inning left, we "saw" (using that term very loosely when attending a baseball game with a 2 year old) a great game, but most importantly had an awesome time as a FAMILY!

As we entered the stadium, the Hubs suggested we go to the same spot where he proposed to me 6 years ago and take a family picture.  He is becoming quite the softy as a Daddy.  It's turned out pretty well, especially thanks to my new iPhone and the forward facing camera which is sheer genius!

Game 1 of the World Series is tonight!  Go CARDS!