Wednesday, February 27, 2013

Dr. Google

So after the weirdness that was Sunday and Monday, I googled early signs of labor to death yesterday.  You don't just have an emotional and hormonal breakdown at 37 weeks pregnant for no reason right. Right?

I've convinced myself that yes indeed I am well on my way.

Am I really?  Who knows?  It's right up there with convincing yourself that you're pregnant based on every website and everyone else's symptoms (OMG, me too!!)

Regardless I have two weeks left, max.  This is a whole new ball game for me since I didn't experience these symptoms with Mia.  I had blood pressure issues and that was my primary focus throughout the end of my pregnancy with her.

Either way I'm content.  I'm as ready as I'll be.  I've come to terms with that.  Mia will be just fine.

Do I have the matching Big Sis/Lil Sis shirts, not yet.  Do I have Mia's gift from her sister, nope, not yet.  Do I have all my new comfies I ordered during Old Navy's sale last week.  Nope. (but they've shipped...bonus).

Did I document this pregnancy as I had envisioned?  No, definitely not.

But do I feel like I've done a pretty damn good job with my first born up to this point?  Do I feel like I can handle this Mom of Two thing.  Absolutely.

We, as women, as mothers, are often quick to judge others, but most importantly ourselves.  There is no script.  There is no magic formula.  All there is us.  Our support system.  Our friends and our families.

I've said it a million times and likely I'll say it a million more.  Am I perfect?  No.  Do I know what I'm doing each and every day?  No.  Do I sometimes feel like I'm doing it all wrong?  Without a doubt.  Does my daughter feel loved each and every single day?  You bet. But do I do the best that I can each and every (well, let's be honest almost every) day.  Yes.

That's all I can ask of myself.

Happy Hump Day!


Shannon said...

Only two weeks! Eeek! So close! I'm sure you will rock the 2 mama thing.

Mrs EyeCanSee said...

You are going to rock this mom of two thing!! Matching shirts or not! Hang in there lady!

Jillian said...

So exciting!! Email me where u are going to give birth! I'm trying to figure out if I want to go to the same hospital or not that I had A in. I've been looking everywhere for big sister shirts and the only one I found was at children's place. And I didn't love it!