Monday, February 25, 2013

The Unknown

Today marks 37 weeks, 3 days into this pregnancy.

Yesterday I had an emotional breakdown.

There is a fear of the unknown in all walks of life, in all new adventures, in everything that we encounter.

I was induced with Mia.  As far as this pregnancy is concerned all things are leading towards the fact that I will go into labor on my own unless I go beyond 40 weeks.

Last night, I had a moment.

A moment, while Mia slept next to me, where I thought, wow, this could be the last night I have just Mia.  And that is when I lost it.  I just couldn't calm myself down.  I was so taken over by emotion.

I just needed a hug, so I climbed out of bed and went downstairs and after my Husband figured out that I was ok and that I wasn't needing a ride to the hospital we talked about it.  I did feel better and had a decent night's sleep, but holy cow was I a basket case.

That fear of the unknown for me as we embark on these last few weeks or days of this pregnancy scares me more than anything.  The balance of two children, two full time working parents, my job while I'm away, my home, my life.  Making sure everyone is ok and taken care of. What will it be like.  How will we transition.  Most importantly, how will Mia do.

In time, I know everything will be fine.  We are a strong, close and supportive family, but until that time comes and I know for certain I will just do my best to embrace this time with Mia, embrace this time with our little family of three and prepare for meeting our newest daughter whenever that time shall come.

Life is a rollercoaster, one climb at a time.

Have a great week!


SEL said...

I'm only at 19 weeks and have had a few crying sesh's about, "But M won't remember it was just us. She's my baby. And now she'll have a baby sibling!?"

But kids are resilient. And Mia is a great, smart and easy going kid, from everything you've said. I think she'll surprise you!

And your concerns and thoughts are valid, from what I hear. And they also make you a great wife and mommy.

You're so close!

Kay Holt said...

I am reading this just as I had a sleepless night thinking of this same thing. At my appointment yesterday midwife told me after March 15th she would not stop labor if I did go early. All I could think last night was...I'm not ready, there is a nursery to finish and formula to buy. AND most of all it could only mean 2 weeks left with just Peyton. I'm crying typing this. Hopefully he stays put until my due date...lets pray anyway.

But I totally understand this feeling...of course we all do the second time around I feel like. Just cherish every minute. And you are oh so close! Eeek!! :)

docksidelove said...

EVerything you are feeling is TOTALLY normal!!!
It's all going to be okay but I am thinking of you during this transition time... and I can't wait to "meet" your new little addition!!

Lauren said...

Do you remember me blogging about this exact stuff while pregnant with Finley? Man I was a nut job!! BUT! Everything works out perfectly! It took me a month to get the hang of it, but it works and Mia will be a great big sister! My Mia wouldn't know what to do without her little sis, and frankly, I don't even think she remembers life before we sister!! You will do great! Muah!