Are We?

We've officially decided (well 99.99999%) that we are done having children.  I'm 35 and the Hubs turns 42 in October.  We don't want to be attending their college graduations with our walkers or scooters.

Yesterday, my youngest sister picked up the bassinet to take back to her house and they have babies on the brain this year (yaaaaaaaaaaaaaaay for more nieces, or maybe a nephew?)

My Hubs looked at me yesterday after I told him she had picked up the bassinet and the first words out of this mouth? "So I guess we really are done huh?"

Wow.

It's a very weird and emotional feeling to know you may be done having children.

The feeling that you have closed that chapter of your life.

To know that I will never experience the amazing journey of pregnancy again.

I'm trying to do my best with soaking up all of Marlow's "babiness," her smell, her coos, her milestones, knowing that it will likely be the last baby I have.

Life is fast.  We've all said it a million times, but once you have kids it goes so much faster.

I need to read this every day.  In the chaos of our routine most days, this is such a good reminder that today is the only day they will be just like they are today.  Tomorrow they will be different.

via

Not A Real Problem, But I'm Venting Anyway

I have a major problem and I just need to vent.

Well it's not a real problem necessarily, but I'm struggling with something.

I cannot find the time to work out AND it's driving me insane.

Mind you, Mia has had swimming lessons this week and last and we haven't even settled in for the evening until almost 9:00 and by then I'm completely spent.

I'm even starting to think about getting up at 5:00 am just so I can get in a real workout.

I need to sweat.  I want to lift weights.  I want to do BodyPump and Yoga.  I don't just want to go for a walk.  I'm not much of a runner, but that may be an option just to get up and out the door and moving in the morning.  Maybe I'll try that??

I'm 35 and there is no doubt that this baby weight will be the hardest to lose.  I was younger with Mia and let's be honest, one newborn is way easier than a toddler and a bitty baby and getting to the gym with her just wasn't much of a challenge.

I was good with the 30 day shred about 6 weeks after Marlow was born, but then I went back to work and things got insane with our schedule.  Things are starting to feel settled and I am quickly getting frustrated with myself as I continue to have excuse after excuse as to why I haven't started back up yet.

How do you fit it in?  How often do you go?

I need to get over my expectation that I'll be able to go 4-5 times a week like the "old days."

I'd be good with 2-3 days.

Swimming is over Thursday.

My goal is to start something by next Monday.

Wish me luck.

BABY WEIGHT BE GONE!!!!

Let's Go Girls

There is no question Mia is and will continue to be an extrovert.  Hubs and I are too and it's great on so many levels.  I love that she will strike up a conversation with just about anyone, especially other kids.  She has little fear.  She loves people and bonds with other girls (because she doesn't like boys, including boy singers just so we're all on the same page) quickly.

This year we decided to officially get her in her first activity.  I've always sworn that I will never have my children in 5 activities a week where I am running them and me around in a bazillion circles during the week and the weekend.  We're trying one thing at a time.  Her first choice was dance.  Girl has been shaking it since she's been able to sit up.  She's always loved music.  It was a perfect fit.

I was a dance mom.  I even volunteered to be room mom.  Who am I????  We luckily had a class full of adorable, happy girls and only one crazy mom. She had a great year.   Even at one point told me she was bored of dance and was ready to move onto gin-nastics. For her age group, I understood their need for consistency but for Mia outside of being able to see ELEANOR and  RILEY (OMG MOM!!!! Each week she was so excited to see them, planning their visit, drawing them pictures, bringing them stickers, me reminding her this was not social hour) it was getting old quick.

Then came recital prep.  I wish you all could have been at watch week when her teacher spent 30 minutes talking about their hair and makeup just so you could have seen my Husband. Melissa, they're 3.  Red lipstick, eye shadow?  Trophies? T-shirts? Sorry honey.  Welcome to the world of daughters.

Mia was so excited.  Over the moon about her fancy outfit, her makeup, her spiral curls.

The day came and she did AMAZING.  They had tap and ballet, so we had the extreme pleasure of two performances. You know when you laugh so hard you have permasmile and your jaws and cheeks hurt?  That was the tap performance.  She was even chosen by her teacher to hand her flowers on stage at the end of the show.  Pretty cool honor for a three year old.  Even then, she was on stage shakin' it with her teacher.

I'm so happy she had such a wonderful experience.  I'm a little sad she's over it, but I'm excited for her to move on to the next thing.

Dance is now over.  But she still grabs the iPad for a little Taylor Swift (Trouble, Trouble, Trouble, ooooooooooo) almost nightly and her new thing before she starts?  Her announcement that she is getting ready to bring it?  LET'S GO GIRLS! Where in the heck does she come up with this stuff?

I love her energy and the light in her eyes.  Watching her learn and grow all of these new things daily is an amazing thing to watch.  I often find myself just sitting back and trying to take it all in.  This journey.  This life.  Her toddler days are short lived.  Each day goes back quicker than the last.

Another first in the books.

I swear she's going to be 13 the next time I blink.

Marlow's Birth Story - The Finale

If you missed Parts One and Two, click here and here.

When we arrived at the hospital at about 12:30 pm, I could barely walk from the car to the front door of the hospital. Hubs dropped me off right in front so he could go park as check-in was just right off the main entry.  I mean I could walk that far right?  I did stop one time during a contraction and then proceeded to the check-in desk pretty sure looking like I was going to die.  They were fairly quick about getting me back for blood pressure and a check.  We entered the small room where a nurse would be doing a quick analysis of my progress before I would be officially taken upstairs to my room.  Undressing was horribly painful and we waited for the nurse for what seemed like forever.  I was still without bladder control since she was sitting so low.  As the nurse finally appeared (I'm sure it was all of 10 minutes) she indicated that I was 6 cm dilated.   She quickly asked me if I was planning on getting an epidural, which of course I was.

She immediately called the anesthesiologist so that I didn't have to wait much longer for some relief and so that I was still able to get one as soon as I got upstairs since I was clearly progressing quickly.

By the time I got upstairs, I was 8 cm dilated and the epidural came shortly thereafter.  I wasn't sure I would make it through that moment.  That was the most intense pain I have experienced in my lifetime.

While they were prepping me, Hubs was getting the camera ready and everything was going so quickly.  Mia was a 14+ hour labor and Hubs did a play by play each hour.  There was clearly not going to be time for that this time around.

I remember at a point my water had still not broken and the nurses gave my doctor the ok to deliver another baby before coming to me, thinking we had the time.  Almost as soon as my nurse hung up with her my water broke.  Because of course!  Quickly thereafter it was time to start pushing.

The whole experience was so surreal once again.  Childbirth is just such an amazing process.  This time was so different from the last, but I'm so glad that I was able to experience true labor as much as the waiting game was not fun for me.

After just a few pushes, at 3:12 pm on March 12, 2013 Marlow Lacy came into the world.

She was perfect in every way and she was finally here.

She's been nothing short of amazing and a perfect addition to our little family.

I can't wait to see what our future has in store.

Marlow's Birth Story - Part Dos

Did you miss Part Uno?  Click here.

Monday, March 11
We were all so exhausted from the previous nights events.  The Husband went to work and I had to pick Mia up from my sister's by 7:00 am.  Mia and I proceeded to have a well planned day of laziness, movies and cuddles.  We took a few breaks from our lazy party for lunch and play time at Chick-fil-a and a walk through our subdivision.

Tuesday, March 12
4:00 am - I woke up from my wonderful slumber to some abdomen pain.  Nothing major, but also nothing I had experienced thus far.  I didn't get Braxton Hicks, so I knew something was going on.  It was enough that I couldn't fall back asleep, so I decided to head downstairs and watch some TV on the couch and avoid disrupting the sleeping people upstairs.  The pain was inconsistent and I did manage to fall back asleep.
6:00 am - I woke up to more intense pain.  I had a feeling on this one.  Was pretty sure we were actively moving towards labor.  At this point, they were still inconsistent but they were not stopping and coming about every 10-20 minutes.  I dosed in and out of sleep for about another hour and a half before Mia woke up.  Luckily she wasn't rearing to go as she normally is in the morning.  We grabbed some breakfast and stayed on the couch until about 8:30 am.
8:30 am - I took a little visit up to my bedroom where my Husband was just starting to wake up.  I told him he should probably plan on sticking at the house today because I had a feeling today was our day.  He got up and came downstairs and we had some coffee while we talked about our game plan, including where we would grab lunch on our way to the hospital.  We'll take a mini-date any way we can get it!
9:00 am - I called the doctor's office.  The nurse told me to hold off and wait until the contractions were coming every 5-7 minutes for one hour.  Once that happened I was to go to the hospital.  We called Mark's aunt who was our on-call day person and told her to come over about noon.  Still at this point the contractions were fairly inconsistent. I started keeping track on paper at about 9:30 am.

10:30 am - By this time we were getting consistent and more frequent.  The contractions were coming more like every 7-10 minutes and by 11:15 or so I decided it was time to get in the shower.  By the time I was in the shower I would have to sit perfectly still as the pain had intensified dramatically in a very short time, but I HAD to shower and I HAD to shave my legs.  Priorities.  I always tell any soon to be new mom to shower before they go to the hospital, if they can, because it will be a long time before you feel that clean again.
After my shower I could barely walk.  The distance between my shower and my bed appeared to be about 5 miles long.  Hubs had to help me put on my undies and lie down in bed in all attempts to get comfortable and that was as far as I got.  At that point he knew it was time.
11:45 am - Mark's aunt arrived and we made it to the car in what felt like an eternity of time.  Clearly we were not grabbing any lunch.  It wasn't pretty, but I was clean and we were on our way.

To be continued...

Marlow's Birth Story - Part Uno

Let me just start by saying this process was so much different this time around.
The body is an amazing thing and whether you've done it once, never or five times, each time it tells a very different story.

Sunday, March 10
9:30 pm (5 days from my due date and 4 days from my scheduled inducement)
I had gone to the bathroom for what felt like the 14th time since about 5:00 pm.  Mia was in bed. It was Melissa and Hubby quiet TV time.  Nothing out of the ordinary.  By this time I was off work, put on limited activity and I was, for the most part, being pretty well behaved.
As I sat down on the couch and leaned by large pregnant bootay over to lie down, I had a pop and a little gush.  OMG I peed myself ooooooooor my water just broke.  I called the doctor after freaking out to the Husband and they told me to definitely go in.  OMG.  OMG.  OMG.  Cue the call to my sister who was on standby for evening and late night labor activity.  She was over within minutes to sweep up Mia and take her to their house.
The Husband and I drove to the hospital in the late night laughing about the fact that it is clearly impossible to have a baby at any decent, normal hour.  Seriously how many babies are born in the middle of the day when most people are awake?

Side tangent:
Since I was induced with Mia, I had absolutely NO IDEA what to expect with going into labor naturally.  No idea whatsoever and I was obsessively googling every single symptom and reading every single website on how to induce labor.  Everything from nightly squat sessions in the kitchen to daily walks to scrubbing the bathrooms on my hands and knees.  Anything to get the ball rolling.  I'm not a good wait-er.  I'm a planner and like to know what happens next ALLTHETIME (except when I'm on vacation)!  Not my biggest strength that's for sure.

I was so unsure as to whether this was IT or not.  I had no other symptoms, no contractions.  Nothing.  Nada.

A great friend continued to tell me to trust in the process and I was doing my best to let nature takes its course.  She wouldn't stay in there forever.

We arrived at the hospital and checked in.  I had a doctor's appointment the Friday before.  She did some "things" to try to help "get things moving" as she was on call over the weekend and it would have worked out great because we all know how well babies are concerned with ours and our doctor's schedules.

I got to my room and got all comfy in my hospital gown.  Still no contractions or other symptoms, started to feel like I should have just stayed home.  They ran 3 different tests after the ultrasound did not indicate that my water had officially broke and talked to the doctor, not mine, the one of duty and 2 hours later sent me on my merry way back to the homefront.

Bottom line...she's sitting so low that I'm was losing control of my bladder.  So that's fun.

To be continued...

Where Have You Been??

So I have so much to say and so much to catch up on.  Most importantly that the last 15 weeks of my life flew by in an instance.  I can't believe I am just shy of having a 4 month old baby.  FOUR.  And I thought time flew by with the first one.

We're all doing great.  I've been back at work for a month this Wednesday.  We're still transitioning, some days are still tougher than others, but I think overall we're doing pretty darn awesome.

This transition back to work was so much easier than the first go around after my maternity leave with Mia.  I struggled.  I will struggle with this transition too.  There will be more breakdowns and more consoling that my Husband will have to do talk me through.  Most likely similar to the one I had just recently.  Am I doing the right thing by keeping focus on my career and trying to raise two daughters?  Will they benefit from my decision or will they despise me for it in the long run?  Am I being selfish?  Is this the right direction I am taking for my future, my retirement and more importantly my girls.

Oh and did I mention I'm 35 now too.  OMGQRS!  How in the world?

Life is so fast.  It's so incredibly quick.  I amazed with each passing year how much more quickly each one goes by just in an instance, just like that.

My Husband and I have been talking a significant amount about this lately.  Considering making some changes.  With my job and his business, we both work a ton.  We have our flexibilities that come with our positions, but nevertheless we make a lot of sacrifices too.  I have work trips and evening events that keep me away from home.  He  works 6 days a week.  Our time together as a family of 4 is limited.  I think this is normal at this stage of our life?  But sometimes I'm just not sure.

I'm going to get back to blogging as best as I can.  This is my happy place, but there is not a whole lot of me time right now AND? that is perfectly ok because these two are completely 100% worth it.

Be back soon and finally will be sharing Marlow's birth story.

Happy 4th of July week friends.  It feels good to be back.