Love Actually

On the way into work this morning I was listening to my usual morning entertainment - MJ in the Morning on Z107.7. It's never anything profound, a lot of crazy news stories and entertainment gossip - two of my favorite things. This morning was a bit different and so is this post. I don't typically get this serious. As you may or may not have heard, two more police officers were killed in the line of duty this week in St. Petersburg, Florida while attempting to serve a warrant. There have been an abundance of police shootings as of late and many of them unfortunately ending in fatalities. This particular segment of the show really touched my heart on many levels, but most importantly as a mother and wife. One of the police officers wives came on to speak of her husband. This was the first time she had spoken publicly. She is a woman of the Lord, so she is holding onto her faith to help her through this time. I envy her for believing so heavily in something that will help her feel protected and safe during what I hope I never have to experience as a very difficult time in her life to say the very, very least. I often wish that I was able to do the same. As she spoke about her husband and how great of a partner he was to her, how great of a husband he was to her and how great of a father he was to their children, I began to think about my husband and my daughter. She spoke of their three children, two boys and one girl, and how much harder she thinks this will be for her daughter. Not only is she the oldest, but she is the only girl and many of us are lucky enough to know all about the special bond between a father and his daughter whether through one's own relationship with their father or seeing the bond through the eyes of your own daughter(s) and/or husband. It's a great thing! I love my Dad and I can truly relate through the bond we share. This very special bond has really begun to form with Mark and Mia. As this woman spoke I thought of what it would be like without Mark and it brought tears to my eyes. There are so many wonderful things about this man that I would take up pages telling you all about him. He is my rock and voice of reason, my partner, my soul mate and the absolute love of my life. Without him I would be missing a big part of what makes me the person that I am. Selfishly, I hope I never have to experience losing him, but more importantly I need to appreciate him even more than I already do. I need to remember that not everyone is as lucky and blessed as I am. I should be more grateful and not take the small things so seriously. We are all getting older, our lives are all getting busier and it's important to be sure to give those close to you hugs, kisses and I love yous as often as you can. We never know when our last moment on this earth will be, so embrace as much as the time you can. It's not easy, but a more conscious effort will help avoid any regrets. To my husband, daughter, family and friends - you each hold a very special place in my heart and I love each and every one of you!

Wordless Wednesday

In the words of my Grandma Weis - "Good, better, best; never let it rest 'til your good is better and your better is best." Enjoy this video of Alicia Key's SuperWoman - it's inspirational and one of my favorite songs to blast in the car and sing out loud!!! http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=-AphKUK8twg

Misery Hearts Company

Having a rough go so far today and really feeling down in the dumps on many things all work related. I came across this Facebook status post from a friend and it is oh so fitting for me today. It's amazing how things just pop up right at the exact perfect time. Surrounded by people who love life, you love it too; surrounded by people who don't, you don't. (Mignon McLaughlin)…..remember FB family, misery loves company. As I really concentrate on that statement, the more aware I become with my current friendships & relationships. Sometimes take a step back, analyze and cleanse. :) I've been analyzing for a long time, but it's time to cleanse!

Time

What a weekend I had! I spent a lot of time running around, but it was nice to get out and have a little alone time all by myself! I love when I feel like I have time! Quick (it's not really that quick to be honest - I'm kinda wordy today) Recap... Friday night - enjoyed some quality time with my baby! As soon as I walked in the door from work I got a "Momma!" and had her cuteness came running towards me to pick her up. It doesn't get much better than that. Once she went to bed Mark and I cuddled up with a nice bowl of popcorn and a movie. We've really gotten back into movies since we bought our new TV. We watched more in the past month than we have in the past year. Friday night was The Social Network. He and are both fans of Facebook, so it was interesting to see the movie. From the reports we have seen with Mark Zuckerberg (60 Minutes interview) they didn't get much right except his t-shirts, but it was still entertaining nonetheless. Saturday morning - 5:00 am Mia wake up call - wasn't ready to accept that - so I gave her a bottle and back to bed she went until about 7:00 - works for me! We played and read books all morning (Momma had some much needed coffee) until Daddy got up around 9:30. Then it was more books - "Dadda lead (read)!" How can you resist that cute little face and her cute little words? She just runs up to you, wants to climb up and sit next to you and listen to a story. This kid LOVES to read. On average (a weekend or a week day home with her) I bet we read 10 books and that is before the usual 3-4 at bedtime. I really hopes she loves to read forever! Saturday - 11:15 am - And I'm off...on a me afternoon. I was looking forward to this for quite some time. I've only had the gift card since June. A little bit of a late start, I couldn't find this place, but I eventually made it even after my GPS on my phone failed me. A one hour massage at an Aveda salon. If you are not a product person like I am than maybe you will not quite understand my excitement. But I love salons, I love getting my hair done, my nails done, spa treatments, you name it I am in! I am also a big fan of smells, especially essential oils. It's very relaxing to me. Aveda is the mother of essential oils and you just don't see too many salons that carry their products anymore. Anywhoo....based on a few questions, they put together the perfect oil for my massage and let me tell you it was great. I knew it was going to be awesome when she started by rubbing oil on my feet and wrapping my feet in hot towels. "Ummmm excuse me, but this is a perfect way start to this hour!" It was wonderful and relaxing, exactly what I needed. This was my first time at this particular salon and I would definitely recommend it - Salon de Christe in St. Charles. Saturday - 1:45 (well more like 2:00, she was running late) - I had a hair date with the best lady in the business. She has been doing my hair since I was 15. Again, I am a bit of a spa snob, been around them since I was 15 1/2 working at Beauty Outlet on Manchester Road. I loved that place. It truly turned me into a spa diva. If only I had more expendable income to spend at these places. I can't complain though. I typically get a couple of massages a year, my hair done what seems like constantly and a mani/pedi here and there. It's like I tell my husband - "Looking this good is a lot of work!" He's thinking it's a lot of money! haha! Saturday - approximately 4:00 (was trying to not watch the clock for one day out of my life) - back home and full of energy. I wasn't quite ready for couch time, but I did know I was starving. I had a couple of cups of coffee and 2 Nutri Grain bars for breakfast and nothing since then, so my stomach was angry. So I decided I wanted to go out to eat. Mark wasn't game - he was home all day and snacking and really didn't want a meal. I'll just take Mia by myself. This could go well or it could go reeeeallly bad. She's at the phase where the public is just not the place for her to be. Sitting still is not really her forte and she will last all of about 0.2 seconds before she wants to stand up, get out, run around, etc. Thank God for belts in strollers and high chairs. But I thought why not, let's just try this. She just so stinkin' cute and perfect in every other way so let's do it. It's a date - just Momma and Mia. I must say it went pretty well besides the fact that I felt super rushed the whole time and felt bad because I was rushing the waitress (I did apologize and explained myself in advance, as a product of having to endure the tough love of a job in customer service most of my working life I truly empathize with these poor people). I just didn't want her to cause a "scene." She loved her food and even more so the ice cream treat at the end. So as we left (I purposely parked so we would pass right by Victoria's Secret and Bath and Body Works when walking back to the car) and I decided let's try some shopping and let's really push the envelope. Go me! I am Wonder Woman and my child is perfect. She's been sitting for an hour so why wouldn't she want to sit for another one. Instead of heading home on a happy note why not try to embarrass ourselves or stress Mom out. OK, I knew better. This did not go well and I ended up carrying a screaming child out of Victoria's Secret while everyone else looked at me like I was a crazy mother. My bad. Saturday - parents time (after 7:30 most nights) - I wasn't really feeling another movie, but Mark was. He played some movie about people trapped in a cave (Um, no thanks) and I tried to ignore it while checking Facebook and playing Angry Birds (my new favorite app and addiction currently). I don't like horror movies, at all! I think I was traumatized as a child. I used to dream that my dad turned into the Incredible Hulk after I went to bed. Thanks Dad! It was a nice, lazy evening. Me likey those kind! Sunday - 10:15 am - I woke up! Hubby took morning duty and I slept in! I slept in! Let me repeat...I slept in! It was awesome and I felt kinda guilty, but refreshed. I could have slept all day - it was one of those kind of mornings. It was otherwise fairly uneventful the whole day, but wonderful! Mark got some gym time and we all had some play time. I so love my weekends, especially when we aren't expected anywhere and don't have a scheduled agenda. Those are the best. This month has been like that for us and that's pretty awesome because it doesn't happen very often. Like everyone else, I'm really looking forward to some sunshine and warmer temperatures. I'm ready for time outside and all that comes with the spring and summer - Cardinals baseball, parks, BBQs, etc. I hate to rush winter, but I'm ready for spring. So enough of you Old Man Winter! Have a great week!

Wx3

Wordless Wednesday and a Website Mia enjoyed (well kinda) her first official snow day last Tuesday, January 11, 2011 (1/11/11...cool huh?)

I found this great website http://weelicious.com. I'll write more about it later, but I'm going to try two recipes tonight.

A Better Me

As I continue my journey of Me in this new year, today starts a more physical focus. I have two goals over the next two months: 1. Run the St. Patty's Day 5 Mile Run in Downtown St. Louis. I did it last year with my sister Shannon and my hubby and what an accomplishment this was for me. Only three short months after giving birth to Mia I set out to complete this goal. I am NOT a runner and I will never claim to be, but there is something quite emotional and glorifying about completing something you've physically trained hard for. I played collegiate volleyball, so I know what it feels like to push yourself and train your a** off, but it had been a loooooong time since I had pushed myself like that. But, I followed a program and stuck to it (most of the time) and completed the race. I wasn't first, but that wasn't my goal. My goal was to complete something that made me feel good about myself and accomplished and that is EXACTLY what I did. 2. Lose 20 pounds in the next two months and wear a bikini in Mexico in June. Seems quick, but I can do it. Last year after Memorial Day (I kept up my workout routine until that point) I really fell off my workout wagon. I've lost a little bit of that good feeling about myself and I'm really not in a good place with myself physically right now. I never really have felt bad about myself. Throughout my entire life up until just a few years ago, I was always very active with volleyball or just working out in general. At this particular time in my life, this is the heaviest I have ever been. I have a pooch that I am not happy about and I feel like my face is getting more and more round every week. It's time to do something about it. Not only do I need to do it for myself, but I need to do it for my family, especially that little girl. I want her to grow up knowing the importance of fitness and eating well. This healthy balance that I felt I was had a pretty good grasp on is crumbling in my hands. It's very difficult and won't be an easy fix, but I need to do something about it. Working full time and being a Mom is tough. At the end of the day, it's seldom about me, it's about everyone else and by the time I am done I am exhausted! I need to remember me too now. We have a vacation planned at the end of June to Cancun and I want to get back in a bikini. It's time to make a change. There is no accepting this as "the way it's going to be." It's important for me to feel good about myself. After all, if I can feel good about myself I can be a better mother, wife and employee! A better benefit for everyone!

Today we celebrate, reflect and reach out...

Today is Martin Luther King, Jr. Day.

A day to remember the man, his dreams and vision for our country and all people. I do and always have had a great respect for Dr. King. He was very profound and his words are still strong in existence today.

I get very aggravated with the violence and distaste of so many. So many people, whether it be in violence, stupidity or just general character, focus on so little and mostly themselves. They give very little time or thought to any one other person. Their true focus is on themselves.

I know it is too much to ask for us to all get along, but I would like to see a more open society willing to listen and to help one another. I would appreciate that for my daughter's sake.

On this day, please take a moment to reflect on the meaning of Dr. King as a person and what impact he made on who we are (whether personally or as a country) today. Take a moment to help someone else and reach out.

 Here are couple of my favorite quotes from the Reverend himself:
"Nothing in all the world is more dangerous than sincere ignorance and conscientious stupidity."
"Life's most urgent question is: what are you doing for others?"
"I look to a day when people will not be judged by the color of their skin, but by the content of their character."
"Our lives begin to end the day we become silent about things that matter."
"The function of education is to teach one to think intensively and to think critically. Intelligence plus character - that is the goal of true education."
"The time is always right to do what is right."
"The quality, not the longevity, of one's life is what is important."

Rest in Peace Dr. King.
May you know that your time here on earth did make a difference, especially to me.

Sleepovers and Girly Time

My sisters, mom and I have always loved sleepovers. Jammies, snacks, girly movies and just good ole' time together. Ever since I can remember we have done this and I just love it. Even some afternoons when we were younger and all still under one roof, we would just all climb in bed and watch movies. My poor dad, a house full of women (Mom + 3 girls), except the dogs, they've always been male. We don't have them as often as we used to of course, but we try. Like tonight, my mom and youngest sister are coming over for dinner, a glass of wine or two and girly time. Mark is out for the night at the Ozzy Ozbourne concert (snicker, giggle...oh and PS Slash is the opening act and he cancelled so now it's just Ozzy so I'm sure at his ripe "young" age the concert will be all of an hour and he probably won't move from one spot). Anywhooooo.....I'm really looking forward to the relaxing night at home with no plans for the weekend (zero, zilch, nada, I'm not expected anywhere at any certain time the whole.entire.weekend!!), so much in fact, I may put my jammies on as soon as I walk through the door (after I recognize my husband and child of course)! My poor hubby though, I don't think he really gets the whole sleepover thing, but he's a guy so I don't really expect him to. He's not from an affectionate family and I'm not sure they spent that much time together really. Sad, but I'm not one to judge. My situation growing up was different and that is what makes us all unique. This is also what makes Mark and I such great partners. We create a good mesh when we combine our thoughts on growing up and our childhood. I really truly feel that Mia (or maybe our children some day if day care ever becomes affordable) will be raised very well, independent and strong. Back to my point...When I tell him about sleepovers he just kind of gives me this look like we are really weird. That's ok...I heart weird. I get excited about knowing my Mom and sister are coming over and we're just going to hang out, relax, eat, maybe fall asleep on the couch, you know the super exciting Friday night stuff. I just hope my lil' angel baby (squishy, squishy, cuteness that she is...yep, weird) Mia enjoys it just as much as I do and when she's 32 she can look back on all of the good memories we've shared and look forward to the many still to come. Even more so, I hope she looks forward to sharing the traditions with her children. I come from a family of traditions and my husband does not. I'm trying to rub off on him a little bit, so hopefully it's working! Enjoy your weekend!

Thoughts O' Random

Just a few random thoughts on this kinda sunny, freezing cold Thursday: 1. I really love getting my car washed. It's right up there with the feeling I get when my house is clean, just with way less work. 2. Speaking of washing, Mia really needs a bath. I should probably do that tonight. 3. Also speaking of washing (last one, promise) I was so excited when our new house had a nice big soaking tub in my bathroom. I haven't taken many baths, but I have taken a few. Sunday morning (when I was home alone, no hubby, no baby, freakishly quiet) I decided to induldge. After a night out with the hubby and maybe one too many vodka cocktails I thought it would be a good way to start. Only problem, I can't fill it up all the way - not enough hot water. What is the freakin' point of taking a bath if your whole body is not soaking? I get freezing almost immediately and it ends up not being as relaxing as expected. 4. I've never quite understood why big trucks (tractor trailers, especially those with two trailers) freak me out so badly. My heart stops and my palms start sweating whenever I or anyone else passes one and it's way worse when I am not behind the wheel (otherwise known as not in control). My dear hubby thinks it's funny and teases me when he's driving. He'll ride right next to them just to watch me sweat and right before I go into a panic attack he'll drive past. NOT NICE! 5. Drivers are really annoying me lately. Having to commute to and from work every single day (sigh) I am really beginning to really, really dislike bad drivers. And it keeps getting worse. Now I am by no means perfect, but I try to not be one of "those." I tell myself to chill out and some days I'm good, but others I am so easily annoyed. Primarily the left lane drivers who are convinced they can drive at grandma speed. At least the speed limit people, that is all I ask, otherwise move over and let us go by. Christmas Eve (Happy Holidays to you too lady) some lady flipped me the bird not 5 minutes into my commute. She was a raging loony and I promise I did nothing wrong (of course I didn't, never do). I visualized a chasing her, is that bad? (Thanks Dad! - haha!!). 6. I really want to paint an accent wall in our master bedroom...and I want it to be striped and red. I've been working on this one for a while. Not sure it will ever happen, but it's part of my overall vision. Had to keep the bedset simple for my hubby, so I'm working with gray, black and white. Very sleek, but I need color. I'm a color person. Stripes are hard and time consuming. Plus our ceiling is vaulted so I question if it will look weird. Maybe I should just do it red and no stripes. We'll see....spring project #501. 6. Last but not least, my assistant is out today so I am holding down this fort of an office all by my lonesome. We have a bell up front that people ring when they come into the office and no one is at the front desk (i.e. Myrrah's desk). As with most days, I'm enjoying my lunch and typing away. If it goes off one more time... Happy Thursday!

Double Dose...Respect and Communication (and a lil' bit of juju)

It's very simple, to me anyway. There are two small, but rather large things that can make effective people and positive contributors to society. These two simple things can make the world a better place, but are they truly that simple? Why is it that so many people struggle with these two things? Where has respect gone? Why is this lacking in society? In my big girl job, I have the word Manager in my title, so I have to deal with a lot of BS and some days I feel like I'm babysitting, but it's part of the gig so whatever...moving on...I always end up reverting to the same exact comment every time there is an "issue." If we all just communicate and respect one another this (these) problems will go away and often never exist in the first place. Easier said than done right? Not really, but that is my oh so humble opinion anyway. 1. Think before you speak. You can avoid a lot of "uh-oh" moments if you do so and often people sound like a jumbley mess if they don't get their thoughts together before they open their mouths. 2. Don't act like you are better than anyone or ever talk down to ANYONE, ever (ahem...that is not effective, just demeaning, selfish and rude). We all work (or are working) to get where we are (or where we dream to be) and everyone started way down at the bottom in little peon, make the coffee land. 3. Share ideas and don't steal them. Don't take credit for others. That's bad juju. 4. Listen to others. I get so aggravated when I have to repeat myself. It is one of my biggest pet peeves, that I am guilty of myself. I will begin speaking (interrupting) to someone before they are finished. I get so worried I will forget what I am going to say that I just open up my yapper and fly away. So RUDE, but I'm working on it. Just glad I'm not the only one! 5. Benefit one another. And avoid bringing in negativity; it is not effective. Rid your life as best you can from people that do not benefit you. This is often difficult at work, but find your happy place or at least try. 6. Realize that accomplishments don't always require recognition. I agree that it is nice to receive a pat on the back every once in a while, a "good job" or a "nice work, "but we are all adults and you are supposed to be doing a job. You shouldn't be rewarded just for doing what you were hired to do. That is why you were hired and that is what is expected. 7. Be thankful you are employed. Realize that in the wake of the economic state that continues in this country (no political comments or blame games here please and thank you) there still remain many, many people that are unemployed. Don't take advantage of your position in this market. Embrace your skills and position and do your job. I'm going to say it...it's not always about the $$ (but please realize I do know that it holds a ton of weight; I just don't like it). 8. Realize there will always be bad people (refer back to Number 5). People who take your credit, take your spotlight, point out your observations as they were theirs and walk the earth like they were born better than you or anyone else. These people are unfortunate, as they have to validate themselves through putting others down. These are not good people, but they are in our lives to teach us very valuable lessons about honesty and trust, so embrace the learning opportunity instead of allowing it to make you angry. 9. Don't fabricate anything. Tell the truth and be honest. Most would appreciate you admitting to the error or the mistake, rather than lie or fluff about it. 10. Appreciate your co-workers and make the most out of your day. Very few people love to go into work each and everyday, but many of us don't have a choice as to whether we work or not. So embrace it for what it is and do your very best to contribute positively each and every day. You will be better for it and there will be a lot of people that thank you and that is the best reward after all. Remember and believe in the power of juju. It's strong and it will get ya!

Excitement and Joy in the Eyes of a Child

The Prediction of Snowy Weather in St. Louis...Let the Chaos Continue

It's Monday, cloudy, cold and we are all gearing up for a very snowy forecast starting this evening into tomorrow morning. Why is it that in St. Louis, everyone freaks out when it's supposed to snow? By freaking out I mean run to the grocery store and stock up as like we would be snowed in for days on end and not be able to function as normal for weeks. I, just like most, do not enjoy driving in the wintry stuff, but it's part of living here. It can't only snow on holidays and weekends. That is pretty obvious to most. Furthermore, we barely even get any snow really and the majority of the time it is too hard to predict and we end up with more than expected or barely a dusting. I'm not blaming the meteorologists, I don't know what it takes to be one, but I never put too much into what they predict and neither should everyone really. I'll prepare for it, but I'm most certain, Mark, Mia, the dogs and I will all survive for a few days if we end up with several feet of snow and are officially "snowed in." I'm not going to hold my breath though, I can't imagine that ever being the case here, but I may be proven wrong at some time in my lifetime. When I lived in Kansas City, we experienced a nasty snow and ice storm that did pretty much shut the city down for a day or two, but that has been the worst I have seen in my 32 years. Plus I was teaching then and had the wonderful enjoyment of snow days. I don't have that luxury anymore. I may delay the start of my day tomorrow, but if I can open my front door and my garage, I can get out. Why is it that St. Louisans panic when we get these types of forecasts? I've never understood the chaos that ensues when we receive this type of news. Relax everybody, we'll all be just fine. Take a breath, grab a mug of hot cocoa, build a fire (assuming you have a fireplace), grab a blanket and enjoy your evening. There is nothing more beautiful than waking to a snowy wonder, so embrace it for it's beauty, not how it will make for a more difficult morning commute.

Wordless Wednesday (ok, maybe it's Thursday)

I FINALLY spent some time with my new camera last night and meant to share these last night, alllllllthough I stayed up way to late on a school night, so I am sharing them on Wordless Thursday instead. I hope you enjoy as much as I do. I picked some of my favorites:

Our house after the Christmas Eve snow:

Mia and her cousin Lindsay:Mia's mohawk after her first ponytail:Momma and Mia:Her Royal Cuteness:My adorable nieces:Jefferson:Lucy:

Resolve

In my first post of the new year, I want to focus on my most important resolution. I have a few resolutions in 2011, but this one is the most important. It's the year of Me! I really vow to make a valid effort towards securing what is best for me in my career. Without going into too much detail, I enjoy what I do for a living, but I feel that I am being held back and I'm not so sure it will get better. No one else can put me on the right path, I need to focus on getting myself there. I feel like I am a pretty good wife and a pretty good Mom, but I feel like I don't have a very firm grasp on my life professionally. I am just so up and down with it. There are days that I feel pretty good, but the majority of the time I catch myself once again getting frustrated. I enjoy the flexibility and independence that I have, especially as a full time working parent, but I get frustrated with the lack of consistency with most anything in my work life. I compare a lot - why is he/she more deserving - what am I missing - what am I not doing? I know I am a good employee and an asset to my company. Is it me or is it someone or something else? I play that battle game often and I really shouldn't. So here's to a year of focusing on what is best for me and making sure that I am happy. This is my one shot and my one life, so it's up to me to make it great!! Happy New Year! I wish you a very happy, prosperous and rewarding 2011!