Brudders and Stuff

Mia's has officially become obsessed with her baby sister.

"I love our baby."

"I love my sister."

"She's sooooo cute Mom."

Cup runneth over like whoa.

Her new thing, however, is that she feels that because we have given her a sister, she would also now like a brother, actually a brudder to be exact.

It's cute, yes.

But first of all, I'm one of three girls, my sister has two girls and my sister in law has two girls.  The whole weenie thing doesn't seem to happen in my family.

Annnnnndddddddd....we've been officially official on the two kids and done thing for a while now.

They're awesome and sweet, but they don't sleep very late and I haven't slept in years and I'm tired and kids are expensive and our routine is nuts as it is.

So as much as I would like to give Mia another gift of a sibling, she'll just have to hang on for her next cousin.

Happy Turkey Week!

So What Wednesday!

It's been a while, but linking up with Shannon this week.

This week I'm saying SO WHAT if:

• I'm overwhelmed with all the holiday bargains, but my kids don't need any more toys and Mia just had a birthday and I don't know what to get them for Christmas and waaaahhhh...not real problems.
• There are nights where if it weren't for my glass of wine  I'd go completely bat shit crazy.  Honesty folks.
• Once cold weather strikes I'm never on time for work, but I'm here so let's do this...
• I went crazy at Old Navy over the weekend (who can help it when the entire store was 30% off) and put Marlow in one of her new outfits that was almost too tight to get on.  At 6-12 months.  Not ok.
• I can't decide where to buy my fall boots.  I've been looking and searching and I just don't know what I want and I refuse to pay more than $40.  I do this every year and by the time I decide there is nothing left in my massive foot size.
• I bought more Scentsy bars last week.  I don't need them, but I'm a sucker for a school fundraiser and holiday smells...Christmas Cottage anyone...on my second bar of that goodness.
• I'm still way hormonal...I would think by now that post-partum business would have passed, but I've cried about three times in the past week...on Mia's birthday, yesterday when I realized Marlow is 8 months old and she's our last baby and it makes me sad and I don't want to get rid of the baby things (is it ok if I just keep the lamby swing in my house forever) and she's growing too fast and then I cried last night while watching Michael J. Fox on Letterman.  I watched my Grandpa struggle through his battle with Parkinson's that eventually took his life several years ago and it made me happy and sad for Michael's gracious spirit and all that he is doing for research.
• I will admit each and every day that children are exhausting.  They are lovely and I wouldn't change them for the world, but they are exhausting. One night last week, after we got through our bed routine with Mia, she started crying.  I asked her why she was sad, she said she didn't want to get bigger, she wanted to stay little forever.  Que broken Mom heart and more tears...

Happy Hump Day!

Eight Months of Pure Goodness

Marlow Lacy, you are an amazing girl.

Your smile, personality and most importantly those cheekies light up every room.

You're a perfect addition to our little family and we are so thankful for you each and every day.

Today you are 8 months old.

I cannot believe how quickly these past 8 months have gone.

The past month has been a month of changes for you:

• You're crawling
• You're pulling up on things
• You need your Momma 0.234 seconds after I've walked in the door
• You stare at your sissy ALL.THE.TIME.
• You want to cuddle and wrestle with the dogs, not sure they're the biggest fans of that idea
• You've stood, without holding onto anything, for seconds at a time multiple times.  You, my love, may be an early walker.

You sleep 11-12 hours a night and you appear to be taking after your Momma in the sleep department - early to bed, early to rise.  Sorry sister.  You take two great naps almost each and every day.

You're starting to give hugs.  Each and every time I get you out of your crib or pick you up, I feel you grab a little tighter each time.  When you rest your head on my shoulder or fall asleep in my lap I melt into a million mushy pieces of motherly love.

You're eating like a champ.  You love your food, especially spaghetti squash, your puffs and your sippys of water.  All big girl type things.

You continue your obsession with remote controls, the fireplace and pulling all of the DVDs out of the TV cabinet.

You are certainly on the go and ready to move.

Happy 8 months Itty Bitty.

We love you so much!

Guess I should start planning your first birthday, huh?

With Love, Always & Forever,
Momma

Bronde is the New Blonde

So as per usual, it's fall and therefore time to go a bit darker with the hair color so I'm not in the salon every 4 weeks and my Hubs doesn't take away my wallet.

He's not a fan of the darker hair, which he pointed out last night.  But I really like it for this time of year.  I will be back to my blonde self next spring, no worries Husband.  Saw a ton on "bronde" while perusing Pinterest for hair color inspiration.  I'm loving it!

I'm not that wife that doesn't cut or color her hair because her Husband doesn't want a different hair color or shorter hair.  My hair, my deal.  It's kind of all I have left that is 100% mine at this point.

Before

After

Day After

Early morning robe shot, bags included, you're welcome.

Video 

Sidenote: as much as I "see" all of you through your FB, IG and blog feeds, 

it's always interesting to actually hear your voices; also this is super corny,
but that is me 90% of the time and Mia is just like me in the
goofy department...reason #413 that Hubs thinks he needs a man cave....
"I need a space to get away from 3 girls."  Whatevs.  Funsucker.

What my stylist really wants me to do, which I love for long hair, but not sure I want to go much darker.

She's beautiful and I'm quite the fan of the tossled look - it's way easy.

Happy Hump Day my friends!

4

Mia Jane,

Today you turn 4.  I cannot believe it.  4 years ago this morning, at exactly 1:57 am, your Daddy and I welcomed you into this world for the first time.

You have been nothing short of amazing since that very moment and you have taught us so much about patience and understanding.  You've shown us the world through your eyes and that is one of the greatest gifts.

You are spunky, sassy, witty, goofy and oh so very smart.  You are an amazing big sister and you often tell us just how much you love her as you cover her in your hugs and kisses.

And your heart...it is as big as the ocean.  You care deeply for those around you and hate to see people sad or upset.  Your I love yous and those wonderful hugs you give are the best!  Your smile is contagious and your silly sense of humor is something I hope you keep around forever.

You're growing up too fast.  You're no longer my baby, but now my little girl.  You have changed so much in the past few months.  I'm not sure if it's because you are not in preschool or if it is just because you are getting older, but I want you to know something.  I will never stop telling you this...

Never Stop Being YOU.

You are wonderful, beautiful and perfectly sassy just the way that you are.

We can't wait to see where this world takes you, but I have a feeling you will go far...

I'm so proud to be your Momma Mia Jane.  I hope you don't ever question that.  I hope you know just how much you are loved each and every day.

And even though you are a little girl now, you will always be my baby.

I hope #4 is the best year yet.

With Love, Always & Forever,
Mommy

Fall Funk, Say What

Is it the weather or what is my deal lately?

I'm in a funk with work and everything in between.

Is it a 35 thing?

Is this normal?

I need to join a gym.

I need to be better about doing something for ME.

I feel like I'm losing a little bit of me each day as I'm taking care of everyone else.

I need a vacation.

I need to sleep past 5:30 am.

Sunday morning and the sun was not even up yet.

It may be the looming change in the time of the sunset and the sunrise.  Leaving at dark and getting home at dark puts a damper on the energy, motivation and happiness levels.

It's a new month, so that's helpful.

I feel like the constant go, go, go of the everyday is aging me quickly.

Days and weeks and months keep getting shorter.

Marlow is already 6 months old.  I mean how did that happen?

I'm exhausted most days and haven't been the greatest mom and wife in the evenings.

I feel like I'm pulled in 8,000 different directions from 5:30 am - 8:30 pm most days.

That, my friends, is exhausting day in and day out.

Being a Mom is hard work.

I've had a massage gift certificate since my birthday in June and I still haven't taken the time to go.  It's one hour.

We've made it a point to be better about weekend/family time and that makes me happy and always gives me something to look forward to.

Hubs has been better about working shorter Saturdays or taking off altogether if he can, so we actually feel like we have a weekend instead of one day.

Just feeling a bit like our balance is off or maybe it's just my balance throwing everything off?

It's up to ME to change it because Moms can fix everything, right?

Fall Mantle - DIY...kind of

I've never been one to decorate for Fall.  I always thought it was weird to decorate for a season commemorated by falling leaves and colder temperatures.  I'm a Halloween girl.  It's my second favorite holiday behind Christmas.

Sunday after Marlow's 206th night in a row of waking at 5:00 am, I needed to get out of the house for a bit by myself.  I just needed to breath and let's be honest I'm not sure there is anything better than a little retail therapy.  These moments make the Hubs a little nervous because 9 times out of 10 that means a SOLO TRIP TO TARGET.

I was in the mood to decorate, so after looking through Pinterest for some Fall, not boring leaves type decor, inspiration, I headed to my favorite place for all fun decorating things - Gordmans.  Not sure if you have one in your city, but they have the most amazing things and for the major cheap.  I bought a wreath (I typically would just make it myself, but for $20 it was worth just buying it already made and it wasn't too "leafy" for me), 4 picture frames, one candle, a candlestick and a pumpkin (the green vase is a part of my non-holiday/seasonal mantle).  Ran to Michaels for some scrapbook paper and a few letters and voila, my Fall mantle...

It makes me feel all warm and cozy, especially with my Baked Apple Pie + Cider Mill combo in my Scentsy burner.

Now I'm just going to need the 85 degree days to come down to about 75.  I shouldn't have to use the AC in late September.

This will tide me over for a few weeks and then I'll get my Halloween on...bought a new rug for that yesterday...at Target...when I was supposed to just be stopping for baby food and wine because it is impossible for me to go into Target and only get what I went in for...there's some super major power force in that place..I lose all sense of shopping control and focus.

Happy Friday people!!!!

We Were Done and Then We Weren't and Then...

When we met we had both just gotten out of long relationships.

When we met we weren't looking for anything permanent.

When we met, at a bar (ahem), we weren't looking for anything more than conversation and a little fun.

When we met, we didn't realize that our first date would lead to so much more.

When we dated, we didn't realize that two years later we would be engaged.

When we got married, we didn't realize we would have children.  Someone was content with being a kidless bachelor for the rest of his life (again, ahem)

When we had one child, we weren't sure we would have another.

And then we did.

And she's amazing and the perfect addition to our family.

We felt content.  We felt whole.

Four is a nice round number.  One kid per parent.  Perfect.

And then the summer came and went (I know technically it's not over, but when the pools close it is to me) and I turned 35 and yesterday my baby started preschool.

And then we started talking.  A conversation that was started by my Husband who as you may recall thought he would be a kidless bachelor the rest of his life.

Maybe one more?

We have goals for ourselves and our family outside of our work.  We want to travel, explore, see new things and do some things for ourselves.  Bask in the glory of life instead of working our life away.

Another child could hinder those goals.  Because kids are expensive and day care is expensive and selfishly, we want to create a life for our two children we have now that will create memories forever.  When you have two full time working parents, one of which works six days a week, family together time is extremely limited. Each and every week of each and every month of each and every year.

Mia asked me Saturday why her Daddy had to work so much.  It's hard to explain to a 3 year old that Daddy runs his own business and therefore is on "duty" all the time.  I told my Husband.  I didn't want to but I knew I needed to.

All of these thoughts and emotions sparked a conversation for beyond two hours last night.

And as selfishly as it may seem, and as wonderful as it would be to bring another blessing into our family, we determined it's time to focus on some of the things we've been striving for in the past ten years of our relationship.

Let's do some things for us.  Let's focus more on our family and spending time together.

Because damn it, we work really hard and deserve to spoil ourselves.

There should be no shame or selfishness in that.

This Place

Today was a very big day for a certain little girl in our family.

I wasn't sad.  I didn't cry.  But I did feel a strange sense in the pit of my stomach last night and this morning as I thought about how we got to this place.

Just shy of four years ago, she made me a Mom and here we are today dropping her off for her first day of Pre-K.

There are moments where I just yearn for some quiet, some alone time, 5 minutes to go pee by myself, maybe a solo trip to Target.

But today I realized, once again, just how very lucky I (we) am (are).



Mia is amazing.  She's smart, social, happy, healthy and FULL of energy.  And her memory....it's outstanding and scary all at the same time.  She remembers so many experiences already.  If there was a way to bottle it up and sell it I would.



This morning my thoughts were on how quickly she's grown into a little girl, how my baby is no longer a baby, how amazed I was that she found her own name tag upon entering her classroom.

I can't believe I have a pre-schooler.  I'm pretty sure someone told me that they stay babies forever. Liars.

I'm so excited to hear all of her stories tonight when I pick her up.

I'm so excited to watch her grow and develop.  The girl could not have been more excited to put that princess backpack on and strut into school this morning and for that I'm elated for her.  I'm impressed by her ability to walk into a new and strange environment and settle right in.

But that pit, that pit is there.  That pit that tells me she's growing up and there is not a darn thing I can do about it.

Kids teach us so much about love, patience and life.  Watching them explore all things for the first time is such a remarkable process to experience.

Life, I tell you, is one interesting journey of emotions after another.

Ok life.  You win.

Let It Be

I'm both amazed and disappointed in man kind almost daily.  

I spend a lot of my time trying to stay centered and focused on myself and those closest too me. 

Sometimes I get frustrated that karma doesn't work a little faster.

Sometimes I wonder if I'm on the right path.

Sometimes I wonder if I'm the best wife, mother, sister and daughter that I can be.

I spend a lot of time thinking about how much has changed in the last 8 years of my life.

Sometimes I want to pinch myself when I sit back and reflect on just how lucky I am.

Sometimes I pinch myself because I can't believe I actually have two kids...and a husband.

Sometimes I try to convince myself that I don't have to have control of every situation.

Sometimes I just have to remind myself that this is my life.

My one shot.

via

Are We?

We've officially decided (well 99.99999%) that we are done having children.  I'm 35 and the Hubs turns 42 in October.  We don't want to be attending their college graduations with our walkers or scooters.

Yesterday, my youngest sister picked up the bassinet to take back to her house and they have babies on the brain this year (yaaaaaaaaaaaaaaay for more nieces, or maybe a nephew?)

My Hubs looked at me yesterday after I told him she had picked up the bassinet and the first words out of this mouth? "So I guess we really are done huh?"

Wow.

It's a very weird and emotional feeling to know you may be done having children.

The feeling that you have closed that chapter of your life.

To know that I will never experience the amazing journey of pregnancy again.

I'm trying to do my best with soaking up all of Marlow's "babiness," her smell, her coos, her milestones, knowing that it will likely be the last baby I have.

Life is fast.  We've all said it a million times, but once you have kids it goes so much faster.

I need to read this every day.  In the chaos of our routine most days, this is such a good reminder that today is the only day they will be just like they are today.  Tomorrow they will be different.

via

Not A Real Problem, But I'm Venting Anyway

I have a major problem and I just need to vent.

Well it's not a real problem necessarily, but I'm struggling with something.

I cannot find the time to work out AND it's driving me insane.

Mind you, Mia has had swimming lessons this week and last and we haven't even settled in for the evening until almost 9:00 and by then I'm completely spent.

I'm even starting to think about getting up at 5:00 am just so I can get in a real workout.

I need to sweat.  I want to lift weights.  I want to do BodyPump and Yoga.  I don't just want to go for a walk.  I'm not much of a runner, but that may be an option just to get up and out the door and moving in the morning.  Maybe I'll try that??

I'm 35 and there is no doubt that this baby weight will be the hardest to lose.  I was younger with Mia and let's be honest, one newborn is way easier than a toddler and a bitty baby and getting to the gym with her just wasn't much of a challenge.

I was good with the 30 day shred about 6 weeks after Marlow was born, but then I went back to work and things got insane with our schedule.  Things are starting to feel settled and I am quickly getting frustrated with myself as I continue to have excuse after excuse as to why I haven't started back up yet.

How do you fit it in?  How often do you go?

I need to get over my expectation that I'll be able to go 4-5 times a week like the "old days."

I'd be good with 2-3 days.

Swimming is over Thursday.

My goal is to start something by next Monday.

Wish me luck.

BABY WEIGHT BE GONE!!!!

Let's Go Girls

There is no question Mia is and will continue to be an extrovert.  Hubs and I are too and it's great on so many levels.  I love that she will strike up a conversation with just about anyone, especially other kids.  She has little fear.  She loves people and bonds with other girls (because she doesn't like boys, including boy singers just so we're all on the same page) quickly.

This year we decided to officially get her in her first activity.  I've always sworn that I will never have my children in 5 activities a week where I am running them and me around in a bazillion circles during the week and the weekend.  We're trying one thing at a time.  Her first choice was dance.  Girl has been shaking it since she's been able to sit up.  She's always loved music.  It was a perfect fit.

I was a dance mom.  I even volunteered to be room mom.  Who am I????  We luckily had a class full of adorable, happy girls and only one crazy mom. She had a great year.   Even at one point told me she was bored of dance and was ready to move onto gin-nastics. For her age group, I understood their need for consistency but for Mia outside of being able to see ELEANOR and  RILEY (OMG MOM!!!! Each week she was so excited to see them, planning their visit, drawing them pictures, bringing them stickers, me reminding her this was not social hour) it was getting old quick.

Then came recital prep.  I wish you all could have been at watch week when her teacher spent 30 minutes talking about their hair and makeup just so you could have seen my Husband. Melissa, they're 3.  Red lipstick, eye shadow?  Trophies? T-shirts? Sorry honey.  Welcome to the world of daughters.

Mia was so excited.  Over the moon about her fancy outfit, her makeup, her spiral curls.

The day came and she did AMAZING.  They had tap and ballet, so we had the extreme pleasure of two performances. You know when you laugh so hard you have permasmile and your jaws and cheeks hurt?  That was the tap performance.  She was even chosen by her teacher to hand her flowers on stage at the end of the show.  Pretty cool honor for a three year old.  Even then, she was on stage shakin' it with her teacher.

I'm so happy she had such a wonderful experience.  I'm a little sad she's over it, but I'm excited for her to move on to the next thing.

Dance is now over.  But she still grabs the iPad for a little Taylor Swift (Trouble, Trouble, Trouble, ooooooooooo) almost nightly and her new thing before she starts?  Her announcement that she is getting ready to bring it?  LET'S GO GIRLS! Where in the heck does she come up with this stuff?

I love her energy and the light in her eyes.  Watching her learn and grow all of these new things daily is an amazing thing to watch.  I often find myself just sitting back and trying to take it all in.  This journey.  This life.  Her toddler days are short lived.  Each day goes back quicker than the last.

Another first in the books.

I swear she's going to be 13 the next time I blink.

Marlow's Birth Story - The Finale

If you missed Parts One and Two, click here and here.

When we arrived at the hospital at about 12:30 pm, I could barely walk from the car to the front door of the hospital. Hubs dropped me off right in front so he could go park as check-in was just right off the main entry.  I mean I could walk that far right?  I did stop one time during a contraction and then proceeded to the check-in desk pretty sure looking like I was going to die.  They were fairly quick about getting me back for blood pressure and a check.  We entered the small room where a nurse would be doing a quick analysis of my progress before I would be officially taken upstairs to my room.  Undressing was horribly painful and we waited for the nurse for what seemed like forever.  I was still without bladder control since she was sitting so low.  As the nurse finally appeared (I'm sure it was all of 10 minutes) she indicated that I was 6 cm dilated.   She quickly asked me if I was planning on getting an epidural, which of course I was.

She immediately called the anesthesiologist so that I didn't have to wait much longer for some relief and so that I was still able to get one as soon as I got upstairs since I was clearly progressing quickly.

By the time I got upstairs, I was 8 cm dilated and the epidural came shortly thereafter.  I wasn't sure I would make it through that moment.  That was the most intense pain I have experienced in my lifetime.

While they were prepping me, Hubs was getting the camera ready and everything was going so quickly.  Mia was a 14+ hour labor and Hubs did a play by play each hour.  There was clearly not going to be time for that this time around.

I remember at a point my water had still not broken and the nurses gave my doctor the ok to deliver another baby before coming to me, thinking we had the time.  Almost as soon as my nurse hung up with her my water broke.  Because of course!  Quickly thereafter it was time to start pushing.

The whole experience was so surreal once again.  Childbirth is just such an amazing process.  This time was so different from the last, but I'm so glad that I was able to experience true labor as much as the waiting game was not fun for me.

After just a few pushes, at 3:12 pm on March 12, 2013 Marlow Lacy came into the world.

She was perfect in every way and she was finally here.

She's been nothing short of amazing and a perfect addition to our little family.

I can't wait to see what our future has in store.

Marlow's Birth Story - Part Dos

Did you miss Part Uno?  Click here.

Monday, March 11
We were all so exhausted from the previous nights events.  The Husband went to work and I had to pick Mia up from my sister's by 7:00 am.  Mia and I proceeded to have a well planned day of laziness, movies and cuddles.  We took a few breaks from our lazy party for lunch and play time at Chick-fil-a and a walk through our subdivision.

Tuesday, March 12
4:00 am - I woke up from my wonderful slumber to some abdomen pain.  Nothing major, but also nothing I had experienced thus far.  I didn't get Braxton Hicks, so I knew something was going on.  It was enough that I couldn't fall back asleep, so I decided to head downstairs and watch some TV on the couch and avoid disrupting the sleeping people upstairs.  The pain was inconsistent and I did manage to fall back asleep.
6:00 am - I woke up to more intense pain.  I had a feeling on this one.  Was pretty sure we were actively moving towards labor.  At this point, they were still inconsistent but they were not stopping and coming about every 10-20 minutes.  I dosed in and out of sleep for about another hour and a half before Mia woke up.  Luckily she wasn't rearing to go as she normally is in the morning.  We grabbed some breakfast and stayed on the couch until about 8:30 am.
8:30 am - I took a little visit up to my bedroom where my Husband was just starting to wake up.  I told him he should probably plan on sticking at the house today because I had a feeling today was our day.  He got up and came downstairs and we had some coffee while we talked about our game plan, including where we would grab lunch on our way to the hospital.  We'll take a mini-date any way we can get it!
9:00 am - I called the doctor's office.  The nurse told me to hold off and wait until the contractions were coming every 5-7 minutes for one hour.  Once that happened I was to go to the hospital.  We called Mark's aunt who was our on-call day person and told her to come over about noon.  Still at this point the contractions were fairly inconsistent. I started keeping track on paper at about 9:30 am.

10:30 am - By this time we were getting consistent and more frequent.  The contractions were coming more like every 7-10 minutes and by 11:15 or so I decided it was time to get in the shower.  By the time I was in the shower I would have to sit perfectly still as the pain had intensified dramatically in a very short time, but I HAD to shower and I HAD to shave my legs.  Priorities.  I always tell any soon to be new mom to shower before they go to the hospital, if they can, because it will be a long time before you feel that clean again.
After my shower I could barely walk.  The distance between my shower and my bed appeared to be about 5 miles long.  Hubs had to help me put on my undies and lie down in bed in all attempts to get comfortable and that was as far as I got.  At that point he knew it was time.
11:45 am - Mark's aunt arrived and we made it to the car in what felt like an eternity of time.  Clearly we were not grabbing any lunch.  It wasn't pretty, but I was clean and we were on our way.

To be continued...

Marlow's Birth Story - Part Uno

Let me just start by saying this process was so much different this time around.
The body is an amazing thing and whether you've done it once, never or five times, each time it tells a very different story.

Sunday, March 10
9:30 pm (5 days from my due date and 4 days from my scheduled inducement)
I had gone to the bathroom for what felt like the 14th time since about 5:00 pm.  Mia was in bed. It was Melissa and Hubby quiet TV time.  Nothing out of the ordinary.  By this time I was off work, put on limited activity and I was, for the most part, being pretty well behaved.
As I sat down on the couch and leaned by large pregnant bootay over to lie down, I had a pop and a little gush.  OMG I peed myself ooooooooor my water just broke.  I called the doctor after freaking out to the Husband and they told me to definitely go in.  OMG.  OMG.  OMG.  Cue the call to my sister who was on standby for evening and late night labor activity.  She was over within minutes to sweep up Mia and take her to their house.
The Husband and I drove to the hospital in the late night laughing about the fact that it is clearly impossible to have a baby at any decent, normal hour.  Seriously how many babies are born in the middle of the day when most people are awake?

Side tangent:
Since I was induced with Mia, I had absolutely NO IDEA what to expect with going into labor naturally.  No idea whatsoever and I was obsessively googling every single symptom and reading every single website on how to induce labor.  Everything from nightly squat sessions in the kitchen to daily walks to scrubbing the bathrooms on my hands and knees.  Anything to get the ball rolling.  I'm not a good wait-er.  I'm a planner and like to know what happens next ALLTHETIME (except when I'm on vacation)!  Not my biggest strength that's for sure.

I was so unsure as to whether this was IT or not.  I had no other symptoms, no contractions.  Nothing.  Nada.

A great friend continued to tell me to trust in the process and I was doing my best to let nature takes its course.  She wouldn't stay in there forever.

We arrived at the hospital and checked in.  I had a doctor's appointment the Friday before.  She did some "things" to try to help "get things moving" as she was on call over the weekend and it would have worked out great because we all know how well babies are concerned with ours and our doctor's schedules.

I got to my room and got all comfy in my hospital gown.  Still no contractions or other symptoms, started to feel like I should have just stayed home.  They ran 3 different tests after the ultrasound did not indicate that my water had officially broke and talked to the doctor, not mine, the one of duty and 2 hours later sent me on my merry way back to the homefront.

Bottom line...she's sitting so low that I'm was losing control of my bladder.  So that's fun.

To be continued...

Where Have You Been??

So I have so much to say and so much to catch up on.  Most importantly that the last 15 weeks of my life flew by in an instance.  I can't believe I am just shy of having a 4 month old baby.  FOUR.  And I thought time flew by with the first one.

We're all doing great.  I've been back at work for a month this Wednesday.  We're still transitioning, some days are still tougher than others, but I think overall we're doing pretty darn awesome.

This transition back to work was so much easier than the first go around after my maternity leave with Mia.  I struggled.  I will struggle with this transition too.  There will be more breakdowns and more consoling that my Husband will have to do talk me through.  Most likely similar to the one I had just recently.  Am I doing the right thing by keeping focus on my career and trying to raise two daughters?  Will they benefit from my decision or will they despise me for it in the long run?  Am I being selfish?  Is this the right direction I am taking for my future, my retirement and more importantly my girls.

Oh and did I mention I'm 35 now too.  OMGQRS!  How in the world?

Life is so fast.  It's so incredibly quick.  I amazed with each passing year how much more quickly each one goes by just in an instance, just like that.

My Husband and I have been talking a significant amount about this lately.  Considering making some changes.  With my job and his business, we both work a ton.  We have our flexibilities that come with our positions, but nevertheless we make a lot of sacrifices too.  I have work trips and evening events that keep me away from home.  He  works 6 days a week.  Our time together as a family of 4 is limited.  I think this is normal at this stage of our life?  But sometimes I'm just not sure.

I'm going to get back to blogging as best as I can.  This is my happy place, but there is not a whole lot of me time right now AND? that is perfectly ok because these two are completely 100% worth it.

Be back soon and finally will be sharing Marlow's birth story.

Happy 4th of July week friends.  It feels good to be back.

Dr. Google

So after the weirdness that was Sunday and Monday, I googled early signs of labor to death yesterday.  You don't just have an emotional and hormonal breakdown at 37 weeks pregnant for no reason right. Right?

I've convinced myself that yes indeed I am well on my way.

Am I really?  Who knows?  It's right up there with convincing yourself that you're pregnant based on every website and everyone else's symptoms (OMG, me too!!)

Regardless I have two weeks left, max.  This is a whole new ball game for me since I didn't experience these symptoms with Mia.  I had blood pressure issues and that was my primary focus throughout the end of my pregnancy with her.

Either way I'm content.  I'm as ready as I'll be.  I've come to terms with that.  Mia will be just fine.

Do I have the matching Big Sis/Lil Sis shirts, not yet.  Do I have Mia's gift from her sister, nope, not yet.  Do I have all my new comfies I ordered during Old Navy's sale last week.  Nope. (but they've shipped...bonus).

Did I document this pregnancy as I had envisioned?  No, definitely not.

But do I feel like I've done a pretty damn good job with my first born up to this point?  Do I feel like I can handle this Mom of Two thing.  Absolutely.

We, as women, as mothers, are often quick to judge others, but most importantly ourselves.  There is no script.  There is no magic formula.  All there is us.  Our support system.  Our friends and our families.

I've said it a million times and likely I'll say it a million more.  Am I perfect?  No.  Do I know what I'm doing each and every day?  No.  Do I sometimes feel like I'm doing it all wrong?  Without a doubt.  Does my daughter feel loved each and every single day?  You bet. But do I do the best that I can each and every (well, let's be honest almost every) day.  Yes.

That's all I can ask of myself.

Happy Hump Day!

The Unknown

Today marks 37 weeks, 3 days into this pregnancy.

Yesterday I had an emotional breakdown.

There is a fear of the unknown in all walks of life, in all new adventures, in everything that we encounter.

I was induced with Mia.  As far as this pregnancy is concerned all things are leading towards the fact that I will go into labor on my own unless I go beyond 40 weeks.

Last night, I had a moment.

A moment, while Mia slept next to me, where I thought, wow, this could be the last night I have just Mia.  And that is when I lost it.  I just couldn't calm myself down.  I was so taken over by emotion.

I just needed a hug, so I climbed out of bed and went downstairs and after my Husband figured out that I was ok and that I wasn't needing a ride to the hospital we talked about it.  I did feel better and had a decent night's sleep, but holy cow was I a basket case.

That fear of the unknown for me as we embark on these last few weeks or days of this pregnancy scares me more than anything.  The balance of two children, two full time working parents, my job while I'm away, my home, my life.  Making sure everyone is ok and taken care of. What will it be like.  How will we transition.  Most importantly, how will Mia do.

In time, I know everything will be fine.  We are a strong, close and supportive family, but until that time comes and I know for certain I will just do my best to embrace this time with Mia, embrace this time with our little family of three and prepare for meeting our newest daughter whenever that time shall come.

Life is a rollercoaster, one climb at a time.

Have a great week!

So What Wednesday

Once again, I'm linking up with the fabulous and hilarious Shannon over at Life After I Dew for another round of So What Wednesday.

This week I am saying So What if:

• I'm contemplating video below the belt for this birth.  I was "absolutely no way I will ever 'tape' that" with Mia.  I didn't want to see my business in that "condition," but now that I've experienced the amazingness that is childbirth I kind of want to take it to a different angle this time.  Everyone I know that has strongly agrees that it is worth it.
• I had my maternity pics last weekend and I'm deathly afraid of what the ole' bod is going to look like after this baby is out.  I was so puffy and "plump" in my pictures, so I did ask if there was a way for my sister to show me at least 20 lbs lighter.  The camera is not my friend.  I haven't seen the final product and my sister is an amazing photographer, I'm just not a fan of looking chubby.  Baby or not. I need to stop watching Real Housewives of BH, those bitches are so skinny.
• Speaking of chubs, I have a chocolate addiction like nobody's business this pregnancy.  At the moment, I don't regret eating it because it makes me happy, but just remind me when I am bitching about losing the baby weight just how much I consumed.
• I'm so over work.  I'm just ready to start my maternity leave and be over all the work responsibility for a while.
• I want to face punch the following people: those that comment on how little sleep I will be getting (duh, not my first rodeo, but thanks for the tip), those that offer their suggestions and advice that indeed do not have children and do not know what on earth they are speaking of (thanks but no thanks) and finally those that make the comment that clearly indicates I am the size of a bus with 6 1/2 weeks to go ("Oh, look at you," "Wow, you're getting big," "March??" "Are you sure there is only one in there?").  I'm well aware that I'm not small, I'm 6'3" for Pete's sake and I grow large babies.  Back off.

Happy Hump Day.

The Countdown

Friday marks the start of the last full month of this pregnancy and I'm just overly amazed at how quickly this time has gone.

I'm trying to soak up my Mia time as best as I can.  I'm overwhelmed with emotion when I think about the fact that she is our only for just a short while longer.  It does make me sad, as she is my everything.  I struggle, as many parents do, with how I will ever be able to imagine love any greater than what we have for Mia.  How is that humanly possible?  I know that it is.  I don't question it.  We're just not there yet, so until I experience it I will struggle with that.

My daughter's heart is growing by the day and I do feel strongly that it's all in preparation for her sister to arrive.  She's making more room in her already amazingly sweet heart for her little sister.  She loves spending time in her room and indeed helped Daddy put up the crib yesterday.  She wants to do all things and help with all things related to her sister's upcoming arrival.

Even more so, she is always helping me.  Last night, I lied in bed watching the SAG's while she and Hubs put up the crib.  She came and checked on me often to make sure I was "ok."  She tucked me in 100 times, she gave me 403 kisses and told me she loved me more than I could ever count.  Does it get any better than that?  She's listening, helping out with chores, doing all the things we've been trying.  We even managed to give up the binky this weekend.

We're in such a good place, our little family.  It's a great feeling, especially leading into the arrival of our newest family member.

My heart is full and that's a really good thing.

I needed to feel like this.  I needed this past weekend to get to a place where I felt content and ready.

I wasn't there two weeks ago, but I'm there today.

We have a little less than 7 weeks to go until Baby W #2's arrival.

We're excited to meet her and we're excited for our next chapter.

Have a great week!

So What Wednesday

So this must mean I am officially back if I'm linking up with Shannon for one of my most favorite blog topics ever, So What Wednesday!  Holla!

This week I am saying, So What If:

1. We still have our Christmas lights on the house.  Yep.  We are those people.  But Momma can't do ladders in her current condition, so waiting on the Hubs to get them down.  I'm pretty sure he forgot.
2. I've gone into full blown neurotic OMG the baby is coming in 2 months mode.  Everything must be done NOW.
3. Some nights after I get home from work Mia watches TV or plays the iPad almost the entire evening because I just want to sit down, put my feet up and rest my vajayge.  This baby hurts.
4. Mia's clothes are picked out based on where she's going and who she is going to see each day.
5. Mia is extremely picky about her undies and socks (that are often mismatched because that's how she rolls) and jammies.  Therefore those drawers are an absolute disaster.  2 years ago Melissa would have not been ok with that.  Current Melissa could care less.
6. We are painting the office (that will become the nursery) on Saturday.  By we, I mean my family that has volunteered to help, and the Husband still needs to clear out his paperwork, files and furniture.  Tic to the toc.
7. We are running out of time to rid Mia of the binky.  The goal was her 3rd birthday, that came and went, so then it became before sister gets here.  I'm about as motivated to get rid of it as she is and please don't suggest the binky fairy.  She doesn't like that option.  Like not even in the least bit and I've tried to bribe her with presents and it still won't work.

Happy Hump Day!

Operation: Cleanse and Paint (Nursery Sneak Included)

Seriously.  Nesting is in full swing yo.

Saturday I managed to fill 5 trash bags and one box, all items that will be donated to Goodwill.  Haven't used it in the past 2 years, we don't need it, so it's leaving my house.  Cleaned out the guest bedroom and hall closet and organized all of my crafting things that were suffocating the office.  The Hubs is losing his office space temporarily to make room for the nursery, so it's been Operation: Cleanse for a while.

I didn't nest with Mia.  I didn't have a house to nest in, so I'm making up for it with this one.  Kinding.  Well, not really.  Just ask the Husband.  "Melissa, I'm telling you, you are overdoing it." "Sit down."  "You're going to end up on bed rest if you're not careful."  "Go take a nap."  This was him all day yesterday while I cleaned out the laundry room, cleaned the kitchen and the bathrooms and did laundry while he watched football.  Some days I question if he truly believes these things just miraculously happen or if he's just not concerned with them getting done.  Such a question. But I wouldn't trade him for the world and he deserves a day off a week, so I don't argue that fact, but the likelihood of me sitting there all day with him is highly unlikely.  I need to work on it though because it certainly wouldn't kill me to chill the eff out sometimes.

Annnnnnnnnnnnyyyywhooo....

Saturday is officially game time.

I have a painting day planned.  My cousin, sisters and Mom & Dad are coming over to paint and help me with whatnots for the nursery.  Mark's taking Mia to dance and then they are having a Daddy/Daughter day so I can have the house to myself.

See, I have this problem.  I always have a list of projects that I want to do.  That's just my nature, not my problem.  But when I get started?  That's my problem.  I go until it's done.  I don't like things to linger.  If I start it, I need to finish it.  I would like to thank my Dad for that trait.

Want a sneaky peek of the nursery...

Well here you go...

Bedding - Land of Nod

Wall color inspiration

via

Wall art inspiration

via 

Who better than to make my wall art inspiration come to life than the lovely Kristen of Little Laws Prints.  She's so great I can't even find the words.  But you'll have to wait on the finished product.  AND she's the only one besides me and the Hubs that knows the baby's name.

The rest you'll have to wait for.

Hope you all had a good weekend!  Talk to you soon!