So What Wednesday

It's somehow Wednesday again already...so I'm once again linking up with Shannon over at Life After I Dew for another edition of So What Wednesday.

This week I'm saying So What if:

• I will be holding down the office by myself starting Friday through next Wednesday.  No biggie.  Running an office solo is no big deal.
• Mia has been falling asleep with me at night probably more than she should be, but how do you deny the request for cuddles AND really there is nothing better than watching your child sleep.
• Our tile has been done for 2 weeks and we STILL have yet to pick out our granite.  It's all fine and dandy to piece meal a project to save on contractor's fees and all, but this is getting ridiculous.  My goal is to be done with everything by the end of the year (it was Thanksgiving) so fingers crossed.
• I've been thinking and dreaming about turkey, mashed potatoes and gravy for several days in a row.  
• I set my DVR for Teen Mom 2 because Jersey Shore is just not enough ridiculousness in my life.
• I cook, but don't bake.  However will be making a pie for Thanksgiving   I don't like to bought premade anything, so I figure I'll give it a go.  If not, I'm sure WalMart will be open on the way to my sisters.  

Happy Hump Day!

Well At Least I Can Drink Through The Teenage Years

You know when everyone tells you, especially when you ask, that 3 is tougher than 2?  Well Miss Mia proved that this past week. She tested the waters, she tested my patience and I officially broke as a Mother and as a Wife.

I tried to stay strong and hold my ground, but where I feel like I somewhat failed last week I also feel a small sense of success as well.

Baby steps through parenthood right?

Last week was rough and I will not even attempt to sugar coat that.

You know when you come home to your wife crying in one corner and your 3 year old crying in the other?  Yep.  That happened.

Friday night was one of the hardest parenting moments I have ever experienced thus far.

For the most part Mia is a very well behaved child.  We don't have to use time out very often.  We pick and choose, as her parents, what we make a big deal and what we do not.  However effective last Monday at 1:57 am, it literally is like someone told her, "hey kid...you're 3, now you can start acting like an uncontrollable spoiled brat."  That is how it felt anyway.  The whining and moaning if she does not get her way had reached a level of insanity.

Friday night while we were waiting for my Husband to come home, Mia wanted to once again help with dinner.  On the menu?  Spaghetti, at her request.  I allow her to help very little with dinner when it involves the stove, but she was obsessed with stirring the noodles and when I told her no for the 14th time (only 2nd, but it felt like 14 ok?) she pushed me.  Not once, but twice and Momma don't play that.  No ma'm.  And off to time out she went.  However she was not having it.  She was going to sit in time out and ball and cry and yell for me (like repeat Momma, Momma, Momma the entire time) for 30 minutes.  AND I AM NOT EXAGGERATING ONE SINGLE BIT.  I made several attempts to explain to her that she needed to be quiet and sit in quiet for 3 minutes. Nope that was not going to happen.  She was going to push until she made me crack.

I call the Hubs and gave him a warning about the mental status of both other family members and what he was getting ready to walk into.  Happy Friday!

I spent Friday night alone.  In my room. With the door locked. Crying into my pillow and a kleenex for most of it.  I came downstairs only a few times for snacks (still very pregnant and hungry even if I'm an emotional basket case).  Mia begged me to let her come lay with me and I knew that I had to say no.  Stand my ground and make her understand that she hurt Mommy's feelings with her behavior.

I didn't even say goodnight to her on Friday.  Just rip my heart out why don't you.

I am a communicator.  I don't like to go to bed angry.  I'm a strong believer in making up before bedtime and talking through things such as this, but with her, at this age, I thought it was better to give it more time.  Was I right?  Who knows.  My Husband agreed.  We're trying damnit.

After I knew she was asleep, I went in and kissed her forehead.  Not just once, but a few times.

I got a decent night's sleep and woke up Saturday feeling better, but still not great.  She had her first dance class and parent's could watch and I cried when she did her gallop alone across the dance floor.  Yes.  I was THAT Mom.

We had a good day both Saturday and Sunday and by yesterday I was feeling much, much better.  We had a few minor incidents, but we were able to talk her through them and avoid any massive tantrums and no time outs!

Today feels good.  I feel normal today.  I don't think I will even cry today.

Hallelujah!

Building a baby is tough work.  Building a baby and managing a toddler is no walk in the park.

As I told my Husband, at least I will be able to drink during the teenage years.  That is VERY good news for him.

Have a great week!

You Shouldn't Cry Over Avocados

Today would normally be So What Wednesday, but there has been a change of plans.

So grab a coffee and stay awhile.  I wasn't short on words with this one.

Last night (and most of yesterday) I had a very strong sense of anger and suffocation and before I really get started this is not a woe is me type post, I'm not asking for sympathy, I'm just writing to get my feelings out because that is why I do this most of all.  Writing is very therapeutic to me.

Moving on...

By the time my working day was over all I wanted was a taco salad, a hot shower and my bed.  That was it.

Simple right?

I won't go into the details of my shitastic day at work, but I am at my wits end with people.  I have a great job and I'm very blessed to be where I am in my career, but I'm allowed to have bad days and I'm allowed to get annoyed.

My drive home was fairly uneventful, no calls, just all the crazy Election driving madness.  It had the feeling of Christmas Eve on the way home last night.  So much traffic and everyone was in a major hurry.

I got home, talked with my Dad for a while, hugged my girl and together we built a fire.  What is more calming than a fire when you can't drink wine.  Am I right or am I right?

I started making dinner while we waited for the Hubs to return from the polls.  He was there and back in 30 minutes.  He went at 5:00 pm.  Crazy.

He came through the door, said hi and told me he had a ton of paperwork to do and off to the office he went.

As I was working on dinner Mia was being extremely needy.  I was already cranky, I just wanted my salad and it was taking me 18 times longer than necessary.  She wanted to be held, which I love of course, but is impossible to do with my growing belly while trying to chop lettuce.

I try to involve her in meal prep, she's a lot like her Daddy and really likes to be in the kitchen "cooking."  Keeping her involved in the littlest things really helps and it's great for her, great for me and great for us.

She was interested in helping last night for oh I don't know 0.9756 seconds before she decided she'd rather wash her hands play in the sink. At this point I was all about whatever it took to get dinner done.  She sat on the bar stool at the kitchen sink and played with a cup of water.  She then spilled said cup of water all over her pants, the stool and the floor.  I got her down, asked her if she wanted me to dry her pants to which she said no and left.  Within SECONDS she was back in the kitchen balling her eyes out about how she was mad because I wouldn't dry off her pants.  OoooooKkkkkkkk and breathe.  In all the ruckus the Husband was back downstairs.

I try to keep my temper and attitude in check, but I don't get a lot of me time.  When I'm at work I'm needed all day long, when I get home I'm needed all night long.  I breathe a lot more than I used to, I give myself timeouts more than I used to, I take more time to react to situations than I used to.  But? Last night I felt like I couldn't catch my breathe.

As I tried to finish up dinner, I lost it while cutting up avocados   Seriously?  What is wrong with me?  I told the Husband I needed 5 minutes and up to my dark bedroom I went.  I just needed to cry out my anxiety and stress from the day and move on.

Within a few minutes he was up in the bedroom making sure I was not having a panic attack or completely losing my shit.  I explained to him that I feel like I'm suffocating.  I'm constantly needed day in and day out and I never get a moment to myself.  I can barely eat lunch without getting disrupted in some manner, I barely ever eat a warm dinner, as soon as I walk in the door from work I'm in Mom mode and sometimes I just need a break.  Sometimes I just don't want to be needed.

My Husband doesn't know what to do in this situation.  He tries, God love him, but it's difficult to explain and really understand unless you are a Mom.  That's the best explanation I can give.  I'm pregnant and hormonal.  My emotions are at a all time high right now.

I've had this feeling often throughout this pregnancy, but I'm scared to death of how I will balance a family of 4.  A family of 3 is insane, especially with our schedule, but there are days when I just am not so sure I can handle it.

My anxiety level is so high lately.  It's a combination of a lot of things.  This is my reality.  I'm assuming it's the looming holidays and my rapidly growing belly.

I need a break.  I need a day off.  I need a me day where I do nothing but take care of me.

I'll make the time for it soon.  I have to.  For me.  For once.

Three

Today, we celebrate this amazing girl.

Words cannot express how proud I am of her and how proud I am to be her Momma.

She is my everything.  There is nothing more that I look forward to than seeing her shining eyes and smile at the end of a busy day.

I always wondered what motherhood would be like.  I always knew I would be one some day.  But I never thought this experience would be as wonderful as it has been over these three short years.

I've learned so much and I've grown so much through motherhood.  Motherhood and parenthood have taught me so much about who I am as a person, my strengths, my weaknesses.

I've been challenged and so has my Husband.  We are always working on being the best that we can be because at the end of the day I feel strongly that is the best we can do as parents.  We can only do the best that we can do.  It may never be enough.  It may never be perfect, but that is ok.  This is life.  We are to learn and grow through this process, every step and stage along the way.

*******************

Dear Mia,

Today we celebrate your third birthday.  I cannot believe it has been three years already.  It seems like it was just this time yesterday that we were in the hospital enjoying you, our new baby.

Here we are.  So much has changed from that moment.  You are amazingly smart, witty and kind.  You never run out of hugs or I love yous. You love to talk.  You continue to be my shadow, everywhere we go.  You're my buddy and sidekick.  People continue to tell me how much you resemble me.  Lucky you :)

Each day you amaze me with what you know and if you know anything, you certainly know how to rock a dance party.  This is by far your favorite thing.  You've even started singing along to songs and I'm not sure there is anything much cuter than watching you sing and dance.  You know your numbers, letters, shapes, colors and animals. You want so badly to be able to tie your own shoes.  You show signs of independence.

You love to draw, color and paint.  You love your babies and have really started to love the Disney princesses, especially Rapunzel.  You love shoes, especially boots.  You love your socks, but mostly love to mismatch them when you pick them out in the morning.

You are so special to me and your Daddy.  You will always be you and nothing will change that.  Our lives will be changing in the coming months when your sister arrives, but I want you to know that you will always be my baby.

You will be such a great big sister.

I'm so proud of you and love you with every ounce of my heart.

I love you.
How much?
So much.
How much is so?
Way, way more than you know.

Always and Forever,

Momma

Mom Fail?

Mia's not feeling well and she turns 3 on Monday which means her birthday party is this Saturday.  Because of course.

When we put her to bed last night she had a low grade fever and had the chills.

I could go on and on about how lucky we have been with her.  She's rarely been sick outside of a few minor colds and one fever in her 3 years of life.

I had an early morning meeting and called the Hubs around 8:45 to check to see how she is feeling this morning.

She was still in bed.

My daughter?  As soon as someone sets foot on the ground from the bed she is up and ready to take on the day.  She's not one to lie around unless she is not feeling well.

Hubs had already planned to take off Friday to put our kitchen back together now that our tile is finished, so he couldn't stay home with her.  I had no more meetings, so I could have taken the rest of the day off or worked from home.

When asked what her preference was - for Mommy to come home or to go to Dawny's as planned?  She picked Dawny's and my heart broke in a million pieces.

Don't get me wrong, her Dawny is fabulous. She has been a important part of Mia's life from the very beginning and I would never take that away.  They have an amazing relationship and she's family.  We are all very lucky to have her.

But that doesn't make it any easier.

Just when you think there is no one else she'd rather be with, especially on a day where she is not feeling a 100% and you are quickly reminded that today that is not the case.

It stings a little.

SWW

It seems to be about all I have time for these days, but I'm back again for another edition of So What Wednesday with Shannon over at Life After I Dew.

This week I'm saying So What if:

• The last time I blogged was last Wednesday for So What Wednesday
• I'm past due on a BumpDate update
• I'm past due on a cute gender reveal on the blog...it's a girl by the way and we couldn't be more excited to have two girls :)  
• I'm overwhelmed by life at the moment.  We have so much going on and time is going way too quickly and it's all materialistic things that don't really matter in the grand scheme of things, but it still gets me anxious.
• Our tile in the kitchen is officially done (and looks amazing), but we haven't even picked out the granite for our countertops and that is the next step.  See last comment.
• Our house is so chaotic and claustrophobic right now because of our kitchen that I've just gone to bed after dinner.  I can't deal. Luckily Mia is my cuddle buddy and hops right in with me.
• We haven't carved our pumpkins and today is Halloween.  This is so not me.
• Also, on the Halloween note, we have no candy to give out so I will be that person buying candy today.  This is also not me.
• My Hubs birthday was on Sunday and we spent it at the mall since we couldn't really be at home.  Last year we were in Vegas, so yeah.  Nothing says Happy Birthday like hours at the mall, cranky toddler that took a stroller nap in a stroller she is much too large for and dinner at California Pizza Kitchen. Wife of the Year.
• I bought my hubby a laptop for his birthday and he took it back the next day even though he's been talking about getting one for weeks.  It's impossible to buy him anything.  He almost always takes it back.

Hope you all are having a good week.  Happy Hump Day and Happy Halloween!

To all those affected by Sandy, I hope you are safe and sound and warm.

So What Wednesday

This week I'm linking up once again with Shannon over at Life After I Dew and saying So What if:

• I'm working from home today and our password change was supposed to take place this morning and I'm not going into the office to connect to the network to do it.  I'm saving the miles on my car instead.

• We have our anatomy/gender ultrasound tomorrow and it's ALL I CAN THINK ABOUT (and clearly all my friends and family can think about too).

• We had our carpets cleaned less than two weeks ago and our dog already peed on the carpet.  He's old.  We know it, but we don't want to have to deal with what may be wrong with him.  We'll take him to the vet soon.  Just not too soon.

• Hubs and I had to have a conversation with Mia about coming into our bed in the middle of the night.  I'm too tired to make her go back to her bed and she doesn't wake the Hubs (of course) but my sleep was starting to get affected by it because she cuddles into me likes it's below zero outside and the dead of winter.  It's so cute, but I just can't take the space violation anymore.  It's the only space I have.

• I've been craving chili cheese dip for weeks and STILL no one has made me any.  What the what?

• Our kitchen reno is finally starting this weekend and first up is tile.  Small problemo, we have not picked out our tile. Minor detail.

Happy Hump Day!

Moments

I'm feeling a whole lot of sappy lately, so my apologies in advance.

As I near the half way point to this pregnancy and try to overcome the guilt I have for bringing another child into this world, I've felt such a strong need to do things and plan things that are special just for Mia.  Things with just Mom, things with just Dad, things that make her feel special and important and unique to us.

I want to make sure that she understands that even though we are bringing another child into this family, it does not take away from how special she is and how important she is to me and her Daddy.

I know these feelings are normal and the guilt I feel is typical, but that doesn't necessarily make it any easier.

Yesterday afternoon was one of those "things."

I'm blessed in my job that I often get tickets for sporting events which makes my tomboy, Cardinal loving heart extremely happy.  Typically I take the Hubs or my Dad, but the Hubs couldn't adjust his work schedule and my Dad just had knee surgery, so I thought why not, I'll take the toddler.

Now for anyone who has a 2-3 year old or a toddler of any age really, you know all too well what a risk this is.  She's been to a few games in her lifetime so she knows what to expect, but with a 3:30 start and me having to pick her up from the sitter at 12:30 I went into this knowing she would not get a nap.  Ummmm, hi, just call me crazy.

I needed this.  She needed this.  We spend a lot of time together, but it's not always something outside of the ordinary.

We had an AWESOME time!  The people in our row were amazing and laughed with her as she danced to the music and screamed for our Cardinals.

We took breaks from our seats to walk around.  We had Dippin' Dots in an STL helmet, popcorn, peanuts and lemonade.  I even treated her to a Build A Bear Clydesdale at the end of the afternoon because she was just such a good girl and I'm ok with the fact that I spoil my child rotten.

She kept telling me she wanted to walk around.  She just held my hand and we laughed and talked.

At one point, she looked up to me with those big blue eyes and that adorable face and said, "Momma, I can't wait for the baby to be here."

And then I died.

We needed this moment, we needed this time together just she and I.

It was a good reminder that I need to be better about taking the time for just us so she truly knows just how special she is, but especially how special she is to me.

Have a great Thursday!

So What Wednesday

I'm doing a linky link once again today with the hilarious and always keepin-it-real, Shannon over at Life After I Dew.

This week I'm saying So What if:

• I'm blogging at work on a half day.  I'm having focus problems.  I blame the Cards game and the baby in my belly.
• All I will do is talk, text, tweet and IG about the Cardinals.  If you've even been paying a little bit of attention, you will know I'm a die hard Cards fan and the postseason is serious.  
• I shopped yesterday for myself.  Finally.  I'm running out of clothes that actually fit.  Then?  I immediately had buy stuff for myself guilt.  
• We put up a fly trap in our kitchen last night, like the kind you see on Hoarders, you know, the roll of sticky stuff.  Straight up hoosier, but whatever it takes.  We have a BBQ Saturday and we have to get rid of the fruit flies.  This morning, there were about 10 on there.  Ew, but yay!!!
• Mia still has 18-24 month pants hanging in her closet.  She doesn't wear them, obviously, but she has so many clothes and she won't stop growing so fast and I just can't keep up.
• Mia doesn't get baths as much as she used to.  These days it's shower with Mom.  It's so much faster.
• I still haven't signed Mia up for gymnastics or dance.  My goal is to pick one by her birthday.  That is in THREE weeks.

Happy Hump Day and GO CARDS!

Strength

I had a post planned (in my head) for today, but I'm going to put that off for a few days because today is an important day for something much more important than anything I had to say.

A very dear friend of mine and I were pregnant at almost the same time.  She with her second, me with my first.  She defines strength and courage in her experience.  I often find the most petty of things to complain about, but at the end of the day, although I have miscarried, my experience holds nothing to what she and her family experienced 3 short years ago.

I could never in a million years come to terms with how I would deal or handle with such a situation and I hope that I never will.

Unfortunately, due to circumstances outside of her control, she lost her baby just weeks shy of her due date. She had gone in for her routine doctors visit to find out her there was no longer a heartbeat.  She had to deliver a stillborn child.

Debbie is an amazing human being.  She turned what was a devastating loss to something much more beneficial and positive.  Through her strength in family and friendship she is reaching out to other families that have experienced similar losses to hers and doing her best to provide them with some comfort during their difficult time.

From the loss of her sweet daughter, Layne Grace, Debbie started Layne's Project.

It's amazing what she has done and I urge you to visit her website to learn more about her story and this special project.

Today would have been Layne's third birthday.  As I watch Mia rapidly approach her upcoming third birthday, this is a amazing reminder of just how lucky and blessed my family and I truly are.


"She would want the best for each of us - 
to see the world a better place.
Let's try our best to make it so
in memory of our Layne Grace.
And though we all have separate lives,
this is what we know for sure, to fully honor 
Layne, we must be the ones to 'fly' for her."
                                             -Layne's Grandpa

Google Images via

I encourage you to help and reach out.

To all my friends who have experienced loss, may you find comfort and healing today and always.

Be sure to light a candle tonight at 7:00 pm for one hour in memory of all our little ones watching over us.

BumpDate: 17 Weeks

What I'm craving?: Salt, hamburger - our menu pretty much consists of all things that involve hamburger meat. The Husband mixes it up with chicken, but I'm still weird about it, so it just depends on the day.  Salads.  Love my veggies, but that's not anything different.  Not so into the sweets or fruits really, but I love juice right now especially V8 Fusion.

Funny/Memorable Story Of The Week:  Last weekend, the Hubs brought out his guitar and trumpet and he and Mia had a jam session.  It was the cutest thing EVER to date!  My favorite part of the whole night was when Mia looked and me and said, "Momma, the dogs don't like it, but we're rockin' out!"  She was having so much fun!  And girl can play the trumpet better than I can.

Weight Gain: Two more weeks until my next appointment, so I'm not sure.  I don't keep track at home.

Work Out Regimen: Still very light.  Should be more, but it's not and that's ok.  I need to pick it up a little though, I have a 5K coming up in November.

What's Different?:  My skin.  I'm breaking out like a 13 year old or a stressed out 18 year old (see also: freshman year of college and 3 a days during volleyball season).  I even broke out on my neck this week.  I mean seriously?  Ew.

Boy or Girl:  Still boy as far as I'm concerned.  Either that or I'm just experiencing a pregnancy almost completely unlike my first.

Sleep:  Hit or miss, but I really can't complain.  The cool weather + lots of blankets + sweatpants + sleep = love.  Most weeknights I'm in bed by 8:30-9:00.

Labor Signs: Nada.

Movement: Lots of somersaults going on in there.  Yesterday was a very active day.

What I Miss:  Being able to stand up without getting lightheaded.  Yep.  That time has come.  I just need to slow it down a bit.

What I'm Looking Forward To: My Mom's birthday celebration and getting my carpets cleaned this weekend.  Food and cleanliness makes me happy.

How Baby's Growing: This week the baby is the size of a turnip at about 5 ounces and 5 inches long. The skeleton is changing from soft cartilage to bone.

The Big Sister:  This is such a great age and we are having so much fun doing all of our fun fall things.  We planted our mums, visited the pumpkin patch and have decorated for Halloween.  She is into every single bit of it all and it makes my season loving heart very happy!  We are gearing up for her #3 birthday party next month and she's so excited!  How is my baby almost 3?

Happy Friday!  Have a great weekend!

(Almost) Wordless Wednesday - Another First

Her first year that she rode on the train at the pumpkin patch all by herself 

and to tell you it didn't make me a little emo would be a lie.

Happy Hump Day!

This Is Me

I try to eat well, but sometimes I just don't care.

I don't work out as much as I should.

I love french fries and onion rings way more than one person should, but pregnant Melissa likes them even more.

I suck at putting away laundry.  My own, not Mia's.  Her closet and drawers are always fine, mine not so much.

I work hard to help provide for my family, but some days I just want to throw in the towel.  So much wasted time and noise!  Work ethic has changed and I find it extremely irritating.

I often take my job too seriously and allow myself to get entirely too stressed out about things not worth stressing over.

One day I feel all put together in life - work, Mom, Wife and other days I feel like a total failure.

I consider most people's feeling and reactions before I do my own.  Especially when it comes to family.

I don't say no easily, but I am getting better.

I could be a better Wife.

I could be a better Mom.

I try to stay positive, but there are some days that such a simple task seems very difficult.

I struggle with how much time I'm away from home.

I get mad when I sometimes feel punished for actually wanting to work and the cost of daycare in order to do so.

I'm nervous about how we will balance a family of four.

Time at home, when all three of us are actually together, is limited and I often get frustrated by how little time that truly is.

But at the end of the day, I give what I can, I do what I can and I try to be the best that I can.

And these two?  They rock my world with their awesomeness.  Just a typical Saturday night in our house.

This is Me.

It's Tuesday...So A Few Things

1. This is Find Out The Sex Of Our Baby Month and I'm so excited!

2. I'm totally into fall and most importantly (for me and the Hubs) cooking!  I love trying new recipes, especially lots of new soups and fall-type food.  Sunday, I tried Skinnytaste Baked Potato Soup and it was amazing!  Um.....yum!  Here's the link: http://www.skinnytaste.com/2011/02/baked-potato-soup.html

3. Mia made her first cupcake yesterday and her delicate nature when applying the sprinkles made me smile.  She was so careful not to make a mess and therefore I feel complete as a mother.

4. We crafted on Saturday night - me, my sisters, my Mom and my cousin and it was so fun!  I stayed up until almost midnight and drank sparkling juice from a wine glass.  It was perfect.  To see more, I linked up with Ashley over at I Love You More Than Carrots for her Project Pinterest link up.

5. This weekend is pumpkin patch weekend - a tradition since I was a kid that we now have continued with my Hub's side of the family.  It's so nostalgic, I can barely take it.  I just hope I don't cry.

6. I took a three hour nap Sunday, but then slept like crap Monday night.  Oh well.  The nap was amazing!  Nothing like a fall nap with lots of blankets, windows open and cuddles with my little one.  And I'm quite sure the Hubs enjoyed the quiet, football time all to himself.

7. My Hubs has always been a black coffee only type of guy.  He now puts creamer in his coffee and even asked me if Starbucks was really that good.  I can't help but laugh.  The day I see my Hubs by a $5 coffee, I may faint.

8. My dining room is officially turning into a staging area for the new stuff that will be hung after our kitchen reno is over.  I just need to accept that I will not get that room back until its over.

9. Mia picked up her playroom all by herself (mostly) Sunday.  Took her almost 45 minutes, but she was so proud of herself.  Melted my Mom heart quite a bit.  She's such a big girl.  Think I might be able to have her trained to change diapes by March?  Ha!  Kidding.  Well, kinda.

10.  Happy October and Halloween month!  Love this time of year (can you believe next month is Thanksgiving and then we have Christmas).  Who the what?  We're going to need things to slow down a smidge.

Happy It's Not Monday Day!

Project Pinterest: EAT

I'm obsessed with all things Pinterest and as we get our kitchen reno underway, one of my big focuses is going to be some sort of organization, mail, schedule station.  With Baby #2 only months away I feel like we really need it to keep our family on schedule with our crazy life.

Last weekend while enjoying some girly time with my sisters, cousin and Mom while drinking my sparkling juice from a wine glass, I created my first piece.

What a better time to link up with my one of my favorite bloggers, Ashley over at I Love You More than Carrots for her Project Pinterest Link-Up.

Here was my inspiration:

via

Here is my project, in three phases:

Cardboard Letters (purchased from JoAnn's)

Turned Black

Turned Metal-ish - Final Product!

I love the metallic look that it created and it was very easy.  The color was created exactly has the pin indicated (love when that happens).

Eventually I will have something like this, but a slightly modified version.

via

Happy Pinning!

BumpDate: 15 Weeks

A BIG Thank You to several of you that have reached out asking if everything is ok with the baby since I've been off the blog radar for the past few weeks.  I appreciate everyone's concern, but yes we are all doing great, big sister and Hubs included.  

What I'm craving?: Still a decent amount of red meat and salty things, especially potato chips, all things bad for me basically.  I eat a lot of peanuts and grapes right now too.

Funny/Memorable Story Of The Week:  Mia's new thing is to say she is "freaking out."  I have NO idea where she got this from, but it makes me laugh so hard.  I about peed my pants in Target yesterday when she said it again.  It's completely used out of context and it makes no sense when she says it, but it's still hilarious, well to me anyway.

Weight Gain: Up 2 lbs.

Work Out Regimen: Walking, light weights.  I will be starting yoga back up.  My back and feet are already starting to hurt me and I know that will help.  I have a 5K coming up in November.

What's Different?:  I'm so much more emotional lately and less aggravated like I was a few weeks ago.  I cried at Disney on Ice and the Rams game the past two weeks.  I see the excitement in Mia's eyes at these live events and it makes my heart all gushy.

Boy or Girl:  Still feeling the boy instinct on this one.  We officially find out in four weeks.

Sleep:  AWESOME right now.  I think the cooler temps help.  I'm sleeping like a rock.

Labor Signs: Nada.

Movement: Much more frequently and I LOVE IT!

What I Miss:  Would still like to have a bit more energy, but I think I just need to get used to this.

What I'm Looking Forward To: All the fall activities we have coming up and the craft/girls night at my sister's this weekend!  Oh aaaaaaaaaaannnnnnnnnddddddddd, we are [ this ] close on getting started on the kitchen reno.

How Baby's Growing: This week the baby is the size of an apple. Though some days when I look at my belly, I beg to differ. He/she can move all of its limbs and joints and can sense light.  We had our monthly doctor's visit this week and everything is going perfectly!  Our doctor ended up doing an unexpected scan because the baby wouldn't sit still long enough to read the heartbeat.  Made me nervous for a few minutes, but once I saw the baby doing back flips in my belly I was relieved.  That never happened with Mia, so I wasn't ready for it.

The Big Sister:  My baby is doing amazing!  We've been talking about her Halloween costume for quite a few weeks and I've been hesitant to buy it because of fear she will change her mind.  She's been consistent the past few weeks, so last night we went out to buy it.  She's so excited, we went straight home and she tried it on for her Daddy

Happy Friday!  Have a great weekend!

SWW...And I'm Back

Between work and pregnancy I haven't had much time to blog, but I hope that I'm back more regularly.

What better way to come back than with a little So What Wednesday with Shannon over at Life After I Dew, so without further adieu this week I'm saying So What if:

• I have a small---ish addiction to Very Jane.  Stuff is on the way cheap and I love cheap, fun, cute things.
• I am eating entirely too many potato chips this pregnancy.  What is up with that.
• We have a craft/girl's night with my sistas and my cuz Saturday night and now that I know what I'm making I can't stop thinking about it.  Nerd alert.
• I can't eat just one fruit bar.  I always eat two.  See also: fatty.
• I stopped for gas after work yesterday and bought a bag (a small bag --- like it really matters) of Cheetos and a box of Jujyfruits.  See also: send help.
• My life revolves around food right now.  It kind of grosses me out at times.
• I'm counting down the days until we find out the sex of this babaaay.  
• I think Mia has one clean pair of undies and if I don't do laundry tonight I will be the worst mother ever.
• I've started telling Mia that a show is not on even if it's on the DVR.  I just can't stand anymore Dora or Peppa Pig.  I'll take anything but those.  Even The Fresh Beat Band.
• We were watching The Office last night and Pam and Jim were talking about having two kids and Pam said, "we have two kids, nothing exciting will be happening for us for a long time."  Hubs and I looked and each other and just giggled.  (It's so true and the thought of no vacations and messes everywhere causes me some anxiety; I'm not scared to admit it).

Happy Hump Day!

BumpDate: 13 Weeks

What I'm craving?: Tacos people.  Like I think I could eat them everyday type situation.

Funny/Memorable Story Of The Week:  Mia's new thing is when she gets mad, no matter what she will say and I quote, "Fine.  I'm not going to play with you annnnnnnnnnyyyyyymore."  Alrighty then Miss Sassy Pants.

Weight Gain: I don't weigh myself much even when I'm not pregnant, so until my next doc appointment I have no idea.

Work Out Regimen: I've worked out twice this week.  Feels good to get back to the gym.

What's Different?:  I get aggravated pretty easily, but that's probably mostly because I can't have wine right now.  My tolerance level is not so great at work.  More so than usual.  Dumb people are worse when you're pregnant.  See also:  last week's comment about mood swings. Yep.  That.

Boy or Girl:  Still feeling boy for some reason although the thought of a boy makes me all sorts of nervous.  Boys are horny when they get older and that scares me.  I'm dead serious about this.  I'm scared about a horny boy in my house.  I know girls are horny too, but boys, ummmm...ewwwww.  Weird? Yes.  Honest? Yes.  I've never claimed to be anything other than that, so...

Sleep:  Better than last week, I think the working out is helping my sleep.

Labor Signs: Negative good buddy.

Movement: Here and there, but again still not convinced it's the actual baby that's moving.

What I Miss:  Nothing in particular at the moment.

What I'm Looking Forward To: My hair appointment this weekend.  Can I just say the decision to go a smidge darker right before I got pregnant was a genius idea.  My roots would have been super scary by now if I was my lighter blonde color.

How Baby's Growing: This week baby is the size of a medium shrimp and fingerprints have formed on his/her tiny fingertips.  Can we just pause for a moment a how amazing this process is and how quickly they become so "real."  Wow.  Just wow.

The Big Sister:  Mia's doing great.  I feel like she has grown up so much and so quickly these past two weeks.  She seems so much older and so much smarter each and every day.  I love her heart, wish for a dose of her energy and let's be honest, I'm a little jealous of her dance skills.  I feel a little guilty that I don't have her in dance or gymnastics or something.  I know she would love it and I need to do it.  It would be a really great thing for she and I to do together before and after the baby gets here.  I think the guilt is normal.  I think there is a sense of guilt when you are building a second baby when you are so attached to your first.  It took shall pass I know, but for right now I have a bit of guilt Momma going on.

I hope you have a great weekend!  Happy Friday!

SWW

Linking up again with Mrs. Dew...

This week I'm saying So What if:

• Mia and I didn't get out of our jammies until the afternoon on Sunday.  We had no plans.  Inside jammie days are the best.
• I ordered Mia's Halloween and Christmas and Big Sister jammies yesterday.  Kohl's was having a sale.  And Miss AP posted a promo code, so duh...who wouldn't?
• I was kinda pissed that the nail salons were closed Monday. I had some me time on Monday and after the gym had every intention to get a pedi.  I mean I guess that's ok, but seriously I need a pedi.  It's still on my radar this week and I'm going to figure out a way to make it happen. Priorities.
• I bought the wrong size shoes over the weekend.  Duh.
• I'm not sure my Hubs will ever finally agree to getting our kitchen done and I'm 2.4 seconds away from drafting a contract he has to sign (he even asked me if I was going to make him write it down when he finally agreed to moving forward yesterday).  He's so wishy washy about it and my goal was to have it done by the holidays.  Tic toc.
• I'm having a week where I just feel fat and super ugly and the huge zit on my chin isn't helping.  Um, I'm not 13, just pregnant.  Chill out hormones.
• I can't stop thinking about tacos.  So much so my bestie is taking me for Mexican next week.  I can only make them at home so much.

Happy Hump Day!

Deep Thoughts by Melissa

What is the Simple Life?

How do we define it?  Do we even know that it exists.

I'm often exhausted from the world that we live in and the country that we reside in.  The expectations that our country upholds for the working hours are insane.  We live in a world were technology doesn't allow many of us to be disconnected enough to get an evening break at home with our children and families, because we are just one email, one call or one text away from a colleague, a client, a boss.

Where it is convenient at times it's just another piece to add to the stress equation.  Everyone deserves a break.

Almost daily my cell phone starts ringing 15 minutes after I leave the office.  Why?  Because people know I'm driving home and they know they can catch me at that time.  Oh, you're driving good.  While I have you...  Ummmm.....I'm driving.  Safety first people.  Bluetooth or not.

It depends on who is calling, but I've stopped answering as much.  Why?  Because I'm not obligated to answer those calls after hours. I should because I'm technically on call 24-7-365 because of my position.  I answer them because I'm passionate about my job.  I care about what I've been hired to do.  It's important to me that I do my job the best that I possible can. I'm also in a supervisory role and I train future managers and it's important to ME that I'm a good model of behavior to them.  This is how I was raised and this is what I believe strongly. BUT. This job only defines a small piece of who I am.

I'm also a Mom and a Wife.  A Sister, a Daughter and an Aunt.  When I get home from my day job, I go into my night "job."  I need time away from work, but most importantly I need time with my family who i miss desperately through (most of) the days.  I need that time with them and time away from what I spend so much of my life doing.  And that is working.

Does it provide amazing things for my family? Yes.  Do I regret some days that I've chosen a path to be a working Mom.  I'd be lying if I didn't question it sometimes.  But this is me.  This is the path I have chosen.

One of my favorite shows is House Hunters International.  Since the Hubs and I have been together we've always talked about packing up, consolidating our life and moving somewhere much more simple.

Yesterday, they showcased two families that relocated to Antigua and Grenada.  AAAAAAAAAAmazing.

It would be hard to make that plunge, mostly because of the relationship I have with my family, but this is our one life.  Our one life to live.  We're over the monotony, the stress, the constant working, the lack of family time.  Is this what I want my kids to know?  Yes and No.  There are benefits to the freedoms that we have, but our country focuses entirely too much on work and not enough on family.  If we want to change that it's is up to my Husband and me.  There is a great big world out there and a lot of it has beaches and oceans.  We'll get there.  I strongly believe that we will.  We'll get that chance.  I just need a sign letting me know that it's a good decision for us to make.

SWW

Here we are again...it's Wednesday already.  Phew that was quick.

Linking up again with Shannon over at Life After I Dew.

This week I am saying So What if:

• I curled my hair and didn't wear a messy bun for the first time today since I don't know when.
• I still shop at Forever 21.  I'm cheap when I actually buy clothes for myself and they have great tops and dresses for dressing the bump.  It was my go to store when I was pregnant with Mia.
• I kept asking Mia to say triceratops last night.  She has a sniffle and it's really cute when she says it.
• I'm overly excited about my First Trimester Screening tomorrow.  I'm never excited about spending two hours in the doctor's office, but after this week I welcome the break and with the screening I get to have an ultrasound and see my little nugget.
• I permanently ban Dora from any TV in my house.  If I hear Do Do Do Do Do Dora or We Did It or Swiper, No Swiping one more time...
• I've just about lost my shit with everyone I work with this week.  I try to keep it cool, but this week I have completely failed at that.  When people wait until the last minute to do something and don't get the results they were hoping for...well sorry, fix it.  And when people raise their voice at me because something is not going their way and THEY are being unfair, I will let them know.  I wasn't raised to be quiet and not speak my mind.
• I have never been so excited for a 3-day weekend in my entire life.

Hope you all are having a fabulous week!

BumpDate: 12 Weeks

I promise to blog more about things not just baby, but this is about all the energy I have right now.
Oh and So What Wednesday!

What I'm craving?: Mexican food, beans, vegetables, protein, less candy attraction this week.

Funny/Memorable Story Of The Week:  Mia is telling everyone that Momma has a baby in her belly and when we are playing house (Mia's always the Mommy and Daddy and I are always the baby) she now has a baby in her belly.  Good thing about playing the baby while playing house, she'll tuck you in on the couch and snug as a bug in a rug because really there is no other way to be tucked in.

Weight Gain: A few ellll beeeees already, but oh well.

Work Out Regimen: Had my doctor's appointment yesterday and things are looking great, so I'm getting back out there.  Slowly, but surely.  I definitely think this will help with my energy level.

What's Different?:  Holy mood swings.  I'm sure I had them with Mia, but they seem much more "moody" this time around.  Yesterday was not a top pick in work days.  My stress level is through the roof right now and sometimes when I get home I just don't want to deal with dinner, dishes, bath, clean up, etc. and the Hubs was just chillaxin' last night like there weren't things to do.  He kept asking me if I was crabby and in a bad mood.  He now cleans out the bathtub after bathtime because it kills my back to bend over (already) and it took everything in my power to go to bed with out the toys being cleaned out and the tub rinsed, but I did it.  I did it, but I wasn't happy about it.  I wish I had his approach about things sometimes.  I really do.  He's still the best nomatterwhat, so he's got that going for him.

Boy or Girl:  The last week I've really felt boy.  Besides my need for meat, mostly red meat and not so much chicken (completely opposite of my pre-pregnant self - I'm a chicken girl).  Several weeks to go yet until we know, but we are finding out so I'm getting more excited for that.

Sleep:  Still pretty good, but not as amazing as last week.  Lots on my mind as we approach the end of the first trimester.  Already.  We'll blink and the holidays will be upon us and then I'll blink again and I'll be in labor.  I swear that's how I feel it's going to be.  Just trying to soak it all in as best I can.

Labor Signs: Ummmm...no thank you.

Movement: Still just some gassy bubbles.

What I Miss:  Still miss energy and with the increased temperatures again, a margarita would be lovely.

What I'm Looking Forward To: The 3 Day Weekend rapidly approaching.  It may become 3 and a 1/2 if I play my cards right.  Need a break yo.

SWW

Once again linking up with the always fabulous and hilarious Shannon at Life After I Dew for another edition of So What Wednesday!

This week I'm saying So What if:

• My Hubs and I have a major addiction to Hardcore Pawn (read that slowly), Storage Wars and Pawn Stars.  It's becoming our Sunday ritual, like all day. PARENTSOFTHEYEAR!
• I've already busted out my maternity clothes.  I don't need them so much at the beginning of the day, but by the end of the day I look like I'm super duper pregnant and I need some room.  Second babies don't mess around.
• I currently have Welcome Home burning on my Scentsy and there is nothing summer about it.  It's warm and smells delicious and cozy.  
• I watch too much Food Network and all it does is make me want to eat.  This past Sunday morning I was watching 30 Minute Meals with RR before any of the rest of the crew was even awake and immediately decided we MUST go to breakfast.  MUST.
• I love nothing more than taking a shower right after I purchase new hair products.  I get so excited to try them.  I seriously need some hobbies.
• I want to decorate for Fall (including stocking up on Bath and Body Works hand soaps) and it's not even September.  Hold strong Melissa, hold strong.

Hope you're having a GREAT week!  Happy Hump Day!

BumpDate: 11 Weeks

Today I am 11 weeks.

My next doctor's appointment is next Monday.  Already.  I can't wait to hear the heart beat again.

I just know that I am going to blink and this baby will be here.

I'm trying to soak it up and enjoy now that I'm feeling better, my nausea and exhaustion have subsided for the most part and it's not 413 degrees outside.

What I'm craving?: Everything under the sun.  No matter the nausea scale with this pregnancy, I've been an eating machine.  It's really helped the nausea actually.  Empty stomach, no bueno.  For a while, the smell of charcoal grilled food was enough to make me vom, but for the most part that has been the only smell that has bothered me.  I wanted candy last week and went to Walgreens and left with 5 things because I just could decide.  $10 later I had the candy I was craving.  Problems you guys.  Problems.

Funny Story Of The Week:  Sunday, typically our family day since the Hubs works most Saturdays, Mia wanted to go watch one of her shows in our bed.  By herself.  So she watched one episode of Dora and one episode of Peppa Pig.  While she was resting, I was making dinner.  When I called for her when her dinner was ready, her response?  "Ok Mom, I'm coming down."  Seriously, what are we 16?  It was definitely one of those, they grow up so fast moments.

Weight Gain: Hope not.

Work Out Regimen: Or lack thereof.  Working on getting back on the wagon after my doctor's appointment next week.  I've noticed a huge difference since I haven't been working out in my energy level and all around feelgoodness, so I'm looking forward to getting back to the gym and taking advantage of the nice temperatures outside.

What's Different?:  I don't remember being so hungry with Mia and I don't remember my exhaustion level being so high (note: I did not have a toddler last time, so I'm attributing it to that).

Boy or Girl:  Not 100% sure yet, now that I know we're not having twins (was seriously worried about that) I can focus more on the sex.  I was off on Mia and I'm not sure it's possible for anyone in my family to have a boy, but we'll see.  Only 8 more weeks or so.  Seriously though, I don't have a preference.  I really don't.  There is something to be said about sisters, but a boy in the family would be fun too!

Sleep:  Amazing.  I'm focusing on being a good girl and getting to bed at a decent hour, especially during the work week.  The peeing is more frequent as of late, but overall sleep is great!

Labor Signs: Ummmm...no thank you.

Movement: Some, but I'm pretty sure it's just gas.  TMI. You're welcome.

What I Miss:  Energy, but that's about it at the moment.

What I'm Looking Forward To: Fall and all that comes with it.  Halloween.  Decorating. Fuzzy socks. Fall, cozy smells burning on my Scentsy. Yep.  I am.